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Walmart test results

Discussion in 'The Coffee House' started by neverdie, Nov 7, 2007.

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  1. neverdie

    neverdie Guest

    One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him, 'My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor.'

    'Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money,' Mike replies.

    'There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it.

    It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars . . . A lot cheaper than a doctor .'

    So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart.

    He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

    Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:

    'You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart.'

    That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled.

    He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.

    Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dol lars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

    The computer prints the following:

    1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)


    2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)


    3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.


    4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.


    5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!

    Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart
    :laugh::tongue::blink:
     
  2. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    :laugh:
     
  3. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

  4. ACRon

    ACRon Well-Known Member

    :rofl:
     
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    :rofl: Hilarious!!!
     
  6. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    :laugh:

    worrying that to think how he got all those things
    :rofl:
     
  7. Hurted

    Hurted Well-Known Member

    :laugh:
     
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