wanna die

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by impulse617, Mar 30, 2007.

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  1. impulse617

    impulse617 Well-Known Member

    ....i'm not loved in this world, have no friends or nothing. Well i had ppl who i thought were friends but they turned there backs on me. And the 1 who I still have left, things will never b the same with her (totally my fault)

    basicly my whole life is 1 big mess, and I want out. Not like my death would make a difference

    and i dnt wanna hear ppl here tell me that they care and sh*t, u don't know me or n e thing. Aint no1 care, I have no reason 2 live
     
  2. impulse617

    impulse617 Well-Known Member

    wow nobody replied, guess I really am worthless huh???

    I'm in so much pain, im trying to fight back the tears as I write this, idk what to do with myself......
     
  3. RainbowChaser

    RainbowChaser Well-Known Member

    That might be why no-one replied - we want to say we care (because some of us actually do) but it sounded like you had already decided that that doesn't matter much from people here (in which case I do hope you change you're mind on that, cos you do matter alot to us :hug: ), or that you didn't want to hear that from us at the time. Either way I've seen what saying something that someone doesn't want to hear can do to someone (I'm sure I'm not alone in that either), so maybe no-one replied due to that?

    I can tell you for a fact that you're not useless, but I can tell you're in alot of pain, so try to hang on a little, okay? :hug:
     
  4. fkw12

    fkw12 Member

    yo, you didn't want anyone to reply 'tis why you got nothing. What was with the second post? it seems like you actually want someone to reply to ya. Which is it?

    Anyhow, I think I am in a similar situation as you are...I have been for years.
    I have no friends - no mates, no girlfriend ; and I have been betrayed during my days of highschool by close ones and my grades were average, I was not good at anything in particular and the stress made me feel like my life was a mess too. One time, I came home from school, felt suicidal 'cos of all this, left my bag in my room, changed outta my school uniform, went down to the kitchen, grabbed a kitchen knife and just sank it into my stomach.

    See, if you are really in so much pain and really feel suicidal, there is no need to tell people you wanna die/ gonna die but just die. Otherwise, you are still looking for hope and you want to rely on others to help you- so let them. Don't let your worthless 'friends' take away YOUR precious life, deal with the problem and become a better person. That is exactly what I am doing- eversince after highschool was over I had no friends, and entering university I was all alone, still, I felt I had to become a much better person than my backstabbing 'friends' so I can get the last laugh. Suicide is foolish, I know from looking at the scar on my stomach, and all this is the inner fire to keep me going.

    Trust me with this, life will get better.
     
  5. mortdesinos

    mortdesinos Well-Known Member

    Do I know you? No. Do I care? Yes, I care very much. You don't deserve the pain you have felt.

    I can closely relate to you. I have had similar feelings. I lost supposed "friends" who actually made my life more difficult. And it wasn't by coincidence. Subconsciously, I looked for people who took their problems out on others. It's a scary thought. i don't know if you're in the same boat, but maybe your negative view of yourself have to do with the friends you have chosen. You say it's your fault that things will never be the same between you and your friend. Is it really all your fault? Did your friend provoke you? Or, in the worst case scenario, if it is completely your fault, and nothing can be done about it, is it worth dwelling over, or can you focus your energy into making changes so that future relationships go more smoothly? Maybe what happened between the two of you was bound to happen in the first place? These are all things to think about.

    When I was young, my parents fought over me relentlessly, and I thought it was my fault. Even though I have grown up a lot since then, it hasn't been easy :wink: . I got bullied repeatedly during high school, because I didn't realize my self worth. I didn't always stand up for myself. I'd hold in my frustration. I felt hopeless, and still do sometimes. But neither of us are hopeless. Life is such a wonderful gift. You mean more to people than you probably realize, even those who barely know you.

    Please- don't be so hard on yourself.
     
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