You hear about these people who kill themselves over other people, when the significant other leaves them or dies and so on. well i have a friend who just killed themselves over a boy and its because that boy gave my friend hope in life and when he left she felt there was no reason to live anymore. that all hope was gone in life and i honestly know how she feels cause im the same way about someone in my life... Okay so for the people who havent realized already i have severe depression, and im not scared to hold that back anymore as of today. I cant be left alone anymore because i think thoughts... and everyone should know what i mean by that. I know people must be thinking im crazy but some people just need to understand why i act the way i do sometimes... I may not show you who i really am deep down (ill only show you the surface of me), cause im afraid of getting attached to you and you then end up leaving. for the one person i did give my heart to is where my problems are getting worse, things may be good at times, but when it comes to watching that person leave kills me inside... the questions that go through my head are... Is this person lying to me? Are they going to meet another person? are they being careful? so when i sit alone for hours at a time with out this person i start to get anxious and cant breathe cause god forbid i lose one more person i love in this life. Cause i wouldnt be able to survive it... And most of this is because of my past, i had a fucked up life at times. Okay so for the people who im mainly talking to that are around alot in my life right now. I dont choose to act like this, when something happens i take it hard, i need you to stop judging me.(if you are) and telling me im not good enough (well not in those exact words) but telling me things you know upsets me... I DONT NEED IT. what you really want to see me go off the deepend? STOP MESSING WITH ME and doing the things you know hurt me the most... and for the people who try to be supportive thanks... i just need a real friend at times... and if you are my real friend why dont you let me know... cause i need you now...