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Wanna leave this place (Trigger Warning sorry)

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by levitated-one, Jun 27, 2009.

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  1. levitated-one

    levitated-one Well-Known Member

    Hi ppls, I'm feeling very sad, unloved, and lonely. I have no good friends, I did have few good friends before, but due to many differences, we don't meet anymore.
    I'm at the point in life where I don't give a damn anymore.. it's not like I've tried, I haven't tried to make my life better.. but in a sense, there's something that can't be changed, which is keeping me from moving on, keeping me from not being depressed.
    I've meddled with LSD, meth, ketamine, MDMA, weed,..basically the drugs opened a door to depression and cannot be closed back.. This is bad.. I want to just die in my sleep..
    The stress of everyday living.. just to get by, just to try my luck out, is irritating me. I need new friends, I need good caring friends.. and I don't know where to begin..I want my life back.. but..but..but..but there's always a BUT!

    I want to just leave this world in my sleep, just go to a different place..and be able to fly, and be free again.

    If I meet a therapist, can a therapist help me? If the problem which caused all these problems is there, and cannot be solved, how can my problem be solved? (I just realized therapist = The rapist..sorry if I offended but just noting what I noticed)

    Hmm.. I don't think I can handle the stress of life.. I'm nervous everyday..I can't relax..help me God.
  2. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Before you give up, do try some counseling. They may be able to help. Are you still dabbling in your drug usage? You already stated that it helped cause your depression. freeing yourself from them will be a beginning, although tough to achieve. You will get there if you give yourself the chance. :hug:
  3. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    I think that you should really seek some proffesional help. This will help you deal with any drug issues you may still have and help you deal with the depression in healthier ways. Don't give up, there is help available to you. :hug:
  4. levitated-one

    levitated-one Well-Known Member

    I'm not using any drugs, I've quit for 2 years. But the feelings are real, the situations are real.. there is no way to solve it other than to stay positive. The problem is not solvable.
  5. Tired and alone

    Tired and alone Well-Known Member

    We are kindred spirits even with the big age difference tho I have not dabbled in drugs. Good friends are very hard to come by. I only have a niece and she is juggling her own problems and doesn't know what to do with me. Just do what I am doing.....taking it a day at a time. I am trying to make myself get out more and check out things that may interest me. Yes, it is very difficult. Just a day at a time. During the day and before I go to sleep I think of as many positive things that I can. They can be very little things as long as they are positive.
  6. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    hey i too would like to sign out of here. i am so tired of the struggle the only thing i stay for is to get my daughter help. When this is done i can find rest I understand to loneliness of no friends i have only my daughter and at the moment she does not wish to live either. take one day sometimes 1 hour at a time and pray somehow you get the strength to keep moving until help comes. There are lots of people to chat with here i hope you can meet up with some to share your thoughts with take care and hang in there thats all we can do.
  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter


    I hope you do try counselling. It can really change your life and give you strength to keep fighting.
    I'm sad to see you leave, I hope things will improve for you xx
  8. levitated-one

    levitated-one Well-Known Member

    Hi all,
    Thanks for replies. Many people would be sad to see me leave. But I'm very sad, very lonely, lost.. no place to go to, no interests.

    I might consider counselling..however the problems will still be there..it cannot be fixed, the only thing I could do is to distract my mind away from the problem, which I can't!
  9. ZombiePringle

    ZombiePringle Forum Buddy and Antiquities Friend

    It takes time for problems to be fixed. I'm sure if you give it time and counseling you'll see your thoughts start to turn around. Just do not get discouraged, it will take time and effort and the will to want help for how you're feeling.
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