Wannabe Savior

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by TheStruggle, Mar 27, 2014.

  1. TheStruggle

    TheStruggle Active Member

    There's a boy who's in my grade. We hang out a lot, and we're pretty similar. We both suffer from depression and suicidal thoughts. He knows more about me than even my "best friends" do. We talk to each other about everything (self-harm, criticism from/about classmates, etc.), and I've begun to wonder if I have some sort of feelings for him. The problem, though, is that he can be really moody, and I can never tell what he's thinking. I feel like I cling to him, and I can't figure out how to either:
    a. Detach myself from him and move on without wanting to die.
    b. Figure out if he likes me without making it so awkward that he stops being my friend.
    I don't want to lose his friendship. He makes me look forward to something.
     
  2. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    Suffering from depression and suicidal thoughts does make people moody - and sometimes clingy and sometimes push people away. It is very hard to know where you stand with another person sometimes in the best of circumstances so in this one it is not surprising at all that it is hard. I guess my advice would be just to talk it very slow and since you talk about a lot of stuff already go ahead and talk about it some. Simply explain to him that sometimes you can't tell if people like you or don't like you or what they think.

    For A.) I am not sure there is any reasons to completely detach yourself from somebody that can be a friend if it is a friendship you are both getting something out of anyway - you do nto have to move on from that at all - it can remain just friends and when he is in a mood tell him you will tlak when he is in a better mood to talk , and tell him if you are being clingy let you know.

    For B.) Is there some hurry to figure out if it will be more than a friend at some point? None of us can see the future, you have something to look forward now- why hurry to try to define it as something more or less? Take time and take it slow and let it define itself over time. You do not get more out of any relationship by adding a label, but it can certainly be awkward trying to make it fit into a label while it is still developing.
     
  3. TheStruggle

    TheStruggle Active Member

    NYJmpMaster, thank you. I'll do my best to be patient, and I'll take it slowly.
     
  4. TheCamel

    TheCamel Member

    It's natural to feel like someone's more than just a friend when they know some of your deepest, darkest secrets; they know a level of you that no one else does, so there's that special bond. Whether it goes and turns into something more or not, no one can foresee that, it all depends how things go. There's no reason to detach yourself from him unless he's causing you harm, and the best thing to do is to just see where things go from there. At the very least, you'll always have him as a friend you can confide in.