Hi, I`m new, and I was just wondering... I remember that when I had attempted suicide for my first and only time I thought that I really wanted to die. I was serene, determined, certain that I want to end it and happy almost. But what surprises me to this day is that i opted for a med overdose. I just randomly ravaged through my parents` drug cabinet and swallowed what I thought would be sufficient, but not too much, since I knew that vomiting was not unusual. When I think about it today, I know that I really wanted to die, but on the other hand, I know myself better than to expect that I would seriously attempt suicide without painstakingly organizing every micro-detail first. What`s the point of this ramble, you ask? Well, ever since I had survived the attempt (three years ago) the thought of killing myself was kind of loosely hanging over my head, slowly persuading me to follow through. This time, I will make sure that failure is not an option and go for a jump. It terrifies me to the core (I have stood on the edge a couple of times but just couldn`t go through with it), but that`s the only way which I have to my disposal which is most likely to result in success. And, at last, my question to all of you is - Why does one even try to end his/her life with overdosing on meds if he/she is 100% certain that death is the goal? Is it just a cry for help? Was my attempt just a cry for help? Because, when I woke up at the hospital, I can`t say that I was surprised to be alive. Very disappointed that it didn`t work, yes, but not surprised. But I guess I can say that there was a feeling of playing with luck and life when I swallowed those pills. And I don`t think that anyone who attempts suicide in that manner is 100% serious about dying, at least on the subconscious level. Now, a high jump on the other hand, or a gunshot to the head is almost like making a pact with death, and takes much more courage, determination and pre-planning. The success-rate is incomparably higher, and yet, most people choose methods which are much more likely to fail. Why?