Everyone hates me. Fact not thought. Annoyed, ashamed, embarrassed of myself so much that I am having nightmares about me and things that have happened. I cannot for the first time in 2.5 years cope. I would love to get blind drunk right now but that is not an option. I would love to get dressed up and go to a club but I have no friends. I have no friends anymore because I am naive and gullible and constantly used. I'm fucking sick of it, Even my niece hates me with damn good reasons to. I loathe myself right now. Had enough. I HATE, despise myself, i deserve nothing but pain, grief and hurt, i'm a spoilt brat.