Want to die but not in vain

[sleeper82]

Hi all,
Does anybody else feel like that? Like you want to end your life but you dont want it to be for nothing. I want to die but I want my death to at least be helpful like saving people from someone with a gun and getting shot myself in the process. At least my death would have been while trying to do some good for humanity.
Dont know, just felt like getting that off my chest.

 

[Forgotten_Man]

No

Ha ha well NOOO, I find myself to be a useless peice of garbage. I would be wasting space if my body was buried in the ground when I die. In fact when I die I want to be a hindrance of some kind to society.

 

[sleeper82]

Thats just your pain talking. Deep down Im sure thats not what your really want.

 

[~CazzaAngel~]

Hun, I have thought about a lot of different things having to do with death....suicide, wishing for an accidental death, just having my time come soon and also like if a robbery or some tradgedy happends protect the person...not only helping but being set free. I think it's all pretty normal. Don't feel bad or alone. I am here if you need to talk. I am glad you brought that up I have thought about posting about this a couple times but always got busy in a PM or forgot.



:hug: :hug:

Hang in there sweetie.



~With love and understanding,
Carolyn~

 

[Emerald Hyperion]

I've always felt the same way. I always wanted to be better off dying while protecting someone who actually deserves to live. I know it'll never happen, but if the opportunity ever occurred, I'd do my best to at least do one good thing out of my life before I pass on. Perhaps God may send my soul to Heaven, perhaps he will not.

 

[DepressionII]

A friend of mine died in vain for me...it's one of the reasons I am so fucked up. He was such a happy, joyful person. I see life as utter misery for the most part. I should have been the one that had 3/4 ton of wet sand fall on top of him. Not Layton.

I don't think his smiling face will ever leave me. Nor will the tortured screams during his death. Even though suffocation would be one of my least favourite choices of death (my least favourite would probably be in a plane crash that not slams, but skims into the ocean, breaks into pieces and I get sucked, fully conscious, into a jet engine.), at least me dying would have put an end to me. He could have mourned for the time then moved on. I don't deserve to push air through my useless lungs. Yet while he doesn't....I still do.

Good thread btw Sleeper

 

[sleeper82]

Thanks Immortal,
Sorry to hear about your friend, thats pretty awful. But I dont think he died in vain, he died protecting his friend and that is an awesome thing to do.

 

[gwalchmei]

As long as I know my son is safe and will have a nice, happy life, I don't care about how I die. I just want to die.

 

[thinker]

Yes sleeper82, I have felt the same way. I used to tell my girlfriend about how since my life has to eventually end I wish it could be to preserve her life. That's one reason why I don't accept the guilt others might try to place on me for planning my own death, it's not that I'm think I'm more important than others...the opposite really.