I have wanted to die since the age of 12. I am now 45. So many times Ive planned my death and so many times Ive backed out. Not because im scared. But because I have four children. Three have left home so I just have my 11 year old with me. Im in constant agony with depression which is compounded by the fact that I have no job and am soon to be evicted (unlawfully) by my rental agent. Every day is a stuggle and I cant even kill myself because my children would be devistated. I HAVE to live, at least untill my youngest has left home....and even then.. it would be too much for them to bear. So what do I do? I have to keep living this waste of a life because im stuck here. I have no hope of peace at all. Im just STUCK and its killing me. I just wish I could die. Please do not mention "God" or "Jesus" in your replies. Ive prayed and prayed, but have never gotten help. In fact, most of the time things just get worse. Can I kill myself? Would it be "selfish" to do so? Personally, I think people who say you are selfish to consider suicide are selfish themselves. Im sure they could not handle the pain I go through on a daily basis, and I should be allowed to die.