Want to die

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Dying_Dreams, May 24, 2009.

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  1. Dying_Dreams

    Dying_Dreams Well-Known Member

    Im really struggling right now. My boyfriend, well now ex who i am still in love with left me a few weeks ago. I accept that. I know if he doesnt love me then theres nothing i can do to change that. THe day he left me i took an OD. For which i should have gone to hospital but didnt as it had no visable effect on me. Since then the doctor wont let me have any of my anti depressents that i really need right now. I dont know how to carry on. I just wanna go to bed and never wake up it seems like a dream. I started hurting myself everyday. I really cant carry on anymore. I dont wanna carry on.

    Was getting close to another guy and now he hates me because i was mean to him. I always seem to drive people away who i care about. It just hurts well to much to even breathe right now.
  2. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I don't want to wake up either. That makes two of us.
    I've spent years putting everything I have on a girl. I can relate. You say you ODed the day he left you. I can tell how much you put on him. You probably won't take mine, or anyone else's word for it, you'll have to be through your share to realize that you have to rely on yourself first. You have to love yourself first.
    I've been rejected so many times that I've HAD to learn to cope to keep from suicide. Self harm is one way and it can work for a while. If it makes you feel better than you probably won't stop and that's ok and you should be ok with that but one day it won't be satisfying. One day you'll have to realize that you're worth more as a person. That you don't have to wrap your identity in a boyfriend. That you can love the things that someone else may not be able to love about you.
    The world is harsh, we have to be good to ourselves.
    My PM box is always open. I understand, as do most of us here, and that's why I'm glad you're here. It's why I'm here. I need to try and give support because it keeps me sane. So sincerely, if you ever need to talk :pm:
    :heart: :console:
  3. Chernarus

    Chernarus Well-Known Member

    im in the same boat you are in i recently got triggered and now im pushing my family away. the only advice i can give is the hardest to follow but it benefits you the most is to not do anything drastic show your doc you can be safe its better than being in a loony bin but if you cant hold on anymore go to the closest hospital to your house and tell em how suicidal you really are just dont try and kill your self thatll get you no were.
  4. Dying_Dreams

    Dying_Dreams Well-Known Member

    Im never gonna love myself. I cant ever be happy on my own. Killing myself will get me to where i want to be. I do know its not the right choice but right now its the only choice i have.
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