want to do it today

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Sent, Dec 20, 2011.

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  1. Sent

    Sent Banned Member

    What's the best way to do it? Don't say get help cuz we spent almost 100k$ in med bills since 2008 for treatments and nothing helps.

    I tried my best but I can't take it anymore. Nothing I try works. Can't hold jjob or do college and been lifting since 2005 and still look like shit.

    M just tired and done and this morning I found white hairs. M only 22 and already aging. So ill never get a girl cuz I have no money degree or looks.

    Done with this shit.

    <Mod Edit:Inmemoryofyou:Methods> but want to make sure I die.

    ---------- Post added at 03:25 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:47 PM ----------

    My life been hell since 2008...no one can even imagine.

    Everyday I keep fighting hoping one day it will be better....but can't anymore I'm done.
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 20, 2011
  2. lostbutnotfound

    lostbutnotfound Well-Known Member

    Hi Sent,

    I'm sorry you are struggling. This is a pro life site, however, and so we don't discuss methods, or offer others ideas for methods.

    I really can tell you are feeling really bad right now, can you call a crisis line if you feel you are in danger of yourself? I know things must seem really helpless for you, do you want to talk a bit more about that? Is there someone IRL that you can talk to, who can try and support you through this time? I think many people can relate to how tiresome it is to keep fighting, hoping that things will improve, but if you give up.. you'll never know if it could get better.

    Thinking of you,
  3. MorganaNever

    MorganaNever Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry,

    I'm really sorry we live in a society that praises shallowness and money above all, that doesn't give a damn about you and your mental health if you don't have the money to afford it. Because see, health and happiness is a privilege, and if you can't become functional and dedicate yourself to making money you're a problem, a burden on the society and all those who created you and who kept going about how you are the future.

    Now after turning 20 we're no longer important, maturity is simply fitting in with everything.

    I wonder what your wishes are, what you like doing, what do you want to study and learn about. Isn't that what you should worry about now, shouldn't your growth as a person matter?
    No. What a functional life is is very clearly determined and the things I just mentioned don't matter. Youre interested in education just for the knowledge? Terrible, wheres the money in that?

    And sure enough, in the society where even getting the help needed not to die takes money, how can you say anything to that.

    You feel old when you should just be starting. But starting what? You want to switch your education- you wasted money. You want to talk to someone- you waste money. Even expecting some compassionate surrounding is silly- why should anyone care about you if you cant present yourself like a politician. Fake confidence and quick solutions, be presentable cause who the hell cares about getting to know you and exchanging something like thoughts and ideas.

    If success is measured by our ability to make money and being respected and valued also, what point is everything else. No one encourages you to look deeper, to find joy in knowledge, to find joy in meaningful connections with few people.

    Everyone wants quick results, you don't have over a 100 friends you're a loser, you can't hold an idiotic job and society doesn't need you.

    I wish it was different, it could be different. Society could work for an individual, health and happiness could come before numbers and individual grow should be everyone's path.

    Some great people before didn't do much by our standards till late in life, they focused on collecting knowledge, traveling and thinking. None of it is valued here, everything that doesn't have an instant result is waste of time.

    I hate that you have to feel like this now, I hate your life feels over when you're 22. I hate I can say shit to cheer you up but we know where we live in, and we know that understanding on a forum is one thing but explain it to everyone who surrounds you.

    I wish we had a revolution, I wish things would fully change cause this is shit. And even the functional ones will die one day and leave their shallow practical functional lives and have nothing deeper or more meaningful inside their heads or hearts. We are supposedly so free to be who we are, except usually we will be fucked for it.

    Its a damn human life, it has wonderful complexity, beautiful potentials, ideals and thoughts, moments of intellectual greatness and purity of thought and emotion that can surpass biology and society and lift us up into insane hights. Society should exist to protect it, to help it, to educate it, not to keep it in the narrow frame of shallow functionality, of acts without anything greater behind them.
    I would want you to stay, I would want people whose posts I read here to speak for the world, not some manipulative idiots who buy respect.

    You didn't have a chance cause no one gave you one. We turn to death cause we can't have a life, that's the thing. And no one seems to give a damn cause once again no one questions the values forced on them, we just believe we live in the best possible world.
  4. Sent

    Sent Banned Member

    So true morggana
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi sent I had to edit your thread because it contained methods. I'm really sorry your feeling this way, especially around christmas time. I'm 22 too, so if you need someone to chat with feel free to PM me, much love, Lynn xxx
  6. MorganaNever

    MorganaNever Well-Known Member

    Whats the situation with your family? Is there anyone in your life who in any way understand or at least wants to understand?
  7. 1Lefty

    1Lefty Well-Known Member

    Actually, there are many people born into poverty, or through bad breaks , and circumstances, yes, and mental illness,do't acheive what our society seems to accept as success. But there are many, many of enlightened people (including women) who realize that success is not measured by material goods, or status in life, but in a person's character. And character cannot be born into, or bought with money, it is somthing earned, not through good times and circumstances, but by withstanding the challenging times.

    I think you're important, and I hope you keep posting here.
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