Want to end it all

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Autumn01, Mar 8, 2010.

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  1. Autumn01

    Autumn01 Well-Known Member

    I want to end my life- have no damn idea why I haven't yet.
    I'm not holding on for shit- nothing is going to change and I'm always going to hate myself. I have to many damn problems, all I see is a miserable lonely life for the rest of my life. I can't find a job for shit- not that- that would suddenly make me want to live- because it certainly wouldn't.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I hope you are getting therapy for your depression and maybe some medication as this helps too. talking with councillor therapist reach out okay get some help to make you feel better.
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    And keep posting how you are doing...go into chat and see is you can get support there...glad you are with us...J
  4. becki

    becki Active Member

    things are shit i get you,fancy talking about whats pissing you off most?xxx
  5. ozbound

    ozbound Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Hope you carry on posting and talking through it, it does help and were all pretty good listeners here.
  6. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    Oh Autumn ....please don't do anything to harm yourself.....
    I know how shit life is too but just keep going day to day if you can...
    I care..
  7. Autumn01

    Autumn01 Well-Known Member

    Thank you violet, Sadeyes, becki, ozbound, and IV2010 (((((Hugs)))))

    But honestly, this is my only way out.
    My life is shit and I don't have the energy to do anything about it nor care to.
    My mom drives me fucking crazy 99% of the time which certainly doesn't help anything. I told her last night all I've been wanting to do is commit suicide. I told her she will be able to forget I ever existed. She doesn't care. I don't either.
  8. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    But we do...please stay and tell us what is going on...you would be surprised how comforting true support is...big hugs, J
  9. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    did your Mum say she didn't care?....
  10. Autumn01

    Autumn01 Well-Known Member

    Not exactly but I know she wouldn't.
    Someone caring about me isn't enough to make me want to keep living anyway.
    No one else is in my shoes. Someone wanting someone to keep living for them is just selfish.
  11. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    Wow ..that really hit the spot Autumn.....My son said that to me before he committed suicide..he also said that no-one cared about him only me so that one person wasn't enough to stay for....
    had he sought help he may well be still with us....he refused help..
    I haven't been in your shoes but my own are way too painful to walk far in either.....
    I have postponed my own death for most of my life for the ones I love so I wouldn't hurt them.....it takes a lot of work to stay and I know how hard it is....
    especially now trying to deal with the indescribable grief and pain and loss my son has left us all with...
    I wish you would reconsider and try to get more help....
    we care about you.....hugs...
  12. Autumn01

    Autumn01 Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry that your son told you these same things that I said- before he took his own life. I think it's a common feeling that we all seem to feel- those of us that are depressed/suicidal. Again, I'm sorry that your son is gone.

    For me, I just don't see living for my mom as reason as enough for me to want to keep living. All- my mom ever does is piss me off with everything she does and she's not to far from 70- so she's pretty old. I don't enjoy life.
  13. bringer of light

    bringer of light Well-Known Member

    I've just thought up this idea. It probably would not work for most and some will think I'm trying to be funny.

    This works for me though.

    You mentioned that your problems are bringing you down.

    This is what I suggest. If the temparature is cold where you are, buy a sleeping bag and a tent. If its warm, don't bother.

    Get a train to your nearest wilderness. Take food and drink with you. Set up camp away from everyone else and just enjoy the solitute for a few days. Learn how to fish and make a fire from flint.

    Just get away from it all. When your alone in the wilderness you will forget the mundane problems and I can't promise anything but if your anything like me you will relax and look into the sky one evening knowing that anyone who can cause you problems is too far away to concern you.
  14. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    thank you Autumn....I hope I didn't offend you ....
    I think the pain of knowing I wasn't enough for my son to stay and try hurts me more than I realized...
    I hope you will find something that gives you hope....
    take care...*hugs*
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