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Want to end it (may trigger)

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by lancashirelass, Aug 23, 2011.

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  1. lancashirelass

    lancashirelass Well-Known Member

    I have woken up this morning feeling like i have nothing left to live for. I know it's not true i have things to look forward to but for some unknown reason today i want to end it all. No matter how much i think about what is coming up i don't feel like i deserve to live a happy life. I do have the tools to end it all. I don't really want to but some force in my head is telling me i should and that my life is worthless and i'm a failure at everything, this force is soo strong today i am scared that i will listen to it. Things have been going pretty well lately up till last week with my ex which i could say was the trigger but i don't believe it is as it was my decision to end it.
  2. TheOncomingStorm

    TheOncomingStorm Well-Known Member

    Dawn :hugtackles: I really hope things begin to pick up for you. If you need to talk..need someone to just listen ect you can drop me a pm or text me. Love you hun :hug:
  3. takencontrol

    takencontrol Well-Known Member

    im sorry things are hard for you today, i hope you can find the strength to get to get through these feelings, :hug:
  4. peacelovingguy

    peacelovingguy Well-Known Member

    Sorry to see you feeling this way Dawn - I know how it is though and wake up every morning myself feeling bad. No question about it - its not easy to wake up and your firs immediate thought is relating to your own demise.

    But - if you have things to look forward to for unknown reasons - then your heart is saying something to you.

    so today is a bad day - and you've let those thoughts roll on a little. sure we cannot help it - but at the same time we CAN preoccupy our mind with other things.

    Takes effort but my advise is to grab a nice hot shower - get nice and clean and do whatever you'd do to look nice.

    do some tidying around the home - takes your mind off suicide when my 2000W hoover blasts out a noise similar to a jet engine. Always shakes me up.

    Cleaning in general - I like to keep the flat tidy but have a room which is like Ebay! I could have a shop in there - so much 'junk'. Well a woman would say "look at he junk" whilst a man sees his treasures!

    As for your ex - that's always a worry whether your depressed or not. But obviously we are more vulnerable with emotions when depressed and this is obviously an issue when things go wrong.

    Thing to bear in mind is that you'd not buy a new dress when feeling so out of sorts - so why take the most important decision anyone can take? I.e dying at your hand?

    I'm going to wait till I'm happy before I kill myself - well - the plan is I'd be so happy I'd back out!

    But not with any ex's!

    Thankfully - I've never really fallen for anyone that deep that I could not climb back out again.

    But love can be like hitting a wall sometimes.

    "I know its hard
    Everyone stumbles and falls
    I know that love
    Can be like hitting a wall" Johnny Dowd - song - Stumble and Fall

    My best wishes to you!
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