Want to end it

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by MusicalHeart, Sep 8, 2016.

  1. MusicalHeart

    MusicalHeart Well-Known Member

    Im getting so sick and tired of everything... The only way I'll get actual help and get my parents to realize I'm actually really depressed and just can't deal with life anymore is a suicide attempt. My self harm scars have been hurting for over a day now and idk why but it hurts so bad. And I'm just getting tired of everybody's shit thinking they can pick on me at school then I come home and get verbally and sometimes physically abused. I just want to end it... I can end it so quickly.. So soon...
  2. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Member Safety & Support

    Hey MusicalHeart, I am so very sorry you are in such pain. What brought you to this point? Have you shown your scars to your parents, to your school counsellor? Does your school counsellor realize you are being abused both at home and at school? Do you think a good nights sleep would help? Maybe you could see your doctor and get some sleep meds. And tell him about your depression, scars and suicidal thoughts. He could refer you to further help and talk to your parents. As to a suicide attempt, please don't. They can cause a lifetime of disability. I know of one young man who attempted and is now in desperate need of a kidney transplant. Then there are those who attempt, as a scream for help, but do actually die. I don't think you want to do that. Remember, this situation you are in now can be changed. It is not forever.
  3. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support

    Hugs. It is not worth an attempt. What about calling emergency services?
    electricalanomaly likes this.
  4. electricalanomaly

    electricalanomaly too sad to say hi.

    Hi Musical Heart, life can be very difficult as you have experienced. I am very sorry that you are going through this. After my failed suicide attempt in 1997 , I was put on a 3 day involuntary hold at a county facility for my own protection. This is staffed by mental health professionals and employees. Anyway, it was explained that my brain is not well and may need medication to boost my serotonin levels to get me out of my depression. Besides medication, I will need guidance from a medical professional.

    What i wanted to share with you is what the psychologist or psychiatrist told me in charge of my care in the facility. "You don't have to tell anyone about your condition especially at work. And you need to fight this. Fight it!

    She was trying to explain to me, to fight depression.
    MusicalHeart likes this.
  5. MusicalHeart

    MusicalHeart Well-Known Member

    I just.. I don't know what else to do...
    electricalanomaly likes this.
  6. electricalanomaly

    electricalanomaly too sad to say hi.

    And this is exactly why you need professional help right now. Is there a police station, fire station, county hospital near you? You may want to talk & explain to them about how you are feeling, have been feeling, feeling suicidal. Just tell them you don't know what else you can do to help yourself and have no one to turn to. There are good people out there ready to help you.

    Time flies, soon enough you'll be out of your parents house and living your own life. you have yet to experience life. :) But first take care of yourself.
  7. MusicalHeart

    MusicalHeart Well-Known Member

    I can't... I'm scared..... I could go to police station/fire station/hospital. All are close enough to me. But I'm scared...
    electricalanomaly likes this.
  8. moxman

    moxman I am proud to call Rosie, my best friend =) Forum Pro

    Little Sister,

    Nothing in your life will change , until you change. I know you are scared, but you can not go on living like this. The pain you are in is too much, for you to endure. Now that you are having physical pain as well as emotional pain, the pain won't stop, until you are honest with yourself. You are an expert on you, no one else is. you have to do what is right for you. The longer you stay there, the worse you are going to suffer. Could you spend sometime with you "adopted" family? I am here for you. Could you go horseback riding? Maybe, just spend a day at the stables helping out with whatever they need help with?

    Your Big Brother