want to get high

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by _Lily_, Sep 6, 2012.

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  1. _Lily_

    _Lily_ Forum Buddy

    i want to get high
    am not coping with things so well
    think am going to relapse ...my husband is trying hard to help me through it and make sure i take my medication i need for my mental health but we also have Valium and in the past i have abused it

    This because its coming up for the anniversary of my dad death he killed himself and i feel like i want to die too but also get out of my face as well as i do it
    my husband dont know that i want to kill myself

    i should tell him but i dont want to hurt him
    in the end ill hurt him when i die
    he better off with out me any way
    am too fucked up for him
    he need someone who is stable mentally

    fuck it am done
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    That is HIS decison hun to make he loves you and wants to help you keep well. You hun need to talk to him or your doctor and get the help you need to deal with your fathers suicide hun Do not pass this pain on okay please get help
  3. _Lily_

    _Lily_ Forum Buddy

    I would get grief counseling but i don't know if i will open up about my dad i find counseling hard , i find it hard to trust professionals
  4. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    Just remember that you don't have to use for ANY reason. There are always other ways to cope. And suppressing your feelings is extremely unhealthy and doing so is what leads a lot of people to relapse. If you need to let your feelings out, please do so. Whether it be here, or just anyone at all you feel as though you can talk to.
  5. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    This is an incorrect statement.
    To prove it's incorrectness, may I ask if you are better off without your father? If the answer is no, then you will understand why you too are important.

    Talk about it. Tell someone. Start with your husband.
  6. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    I agree with pick. If he thought he was better off without you, he'd leave. The fact that he's not is proof that he wants you around. And not only does he want you around, he wants you to be clean, happy, and healthy. And being happy and healthy happen only with being clean.
  7. alyssaswoon

    alyssaswoon Well-Known Member

    I've also had the feeling that everyone around me and in my life would be better off without me, but it took me some time to realize, if they really thought they were better off without me, they'd leave me on their own accord. Don't let yourself believe you're not good enough for someone, be good enough for yourself, then (maybe) worry about others.
  8. Percarus

    Percarus Account Closed

    My own father didn't die, but he came close to it several times. Recently he suffered a stroke that left half his body paralised and the only reason he was able to talk, eat, walk was through sheer will and persistence. It hurts me deeply to see him like this but in your situation mayhap it is time to maybe reflect in maybe God himself. I know, God may be a hard far-fetched notion to grasp for some, especially if you are to believe the bible word for word and not as a set of fables illustrative of the comportments of humanity. Some philosophical forums came up with scientifically sound proofs as to why God exists, and that by itself is a consolation to many. The thing you have to ask yourself is what your father would have wanted? Is he watching over you? Speak to him at times maybe that helps. But I can tell you one thing, and that is you are special and the world needs you sane and zany as always so please do not take us away from you by opting to a plausible death. :')

    *The only hell that exists is the one within our heads and the struggles we go through, as soon as we overcome these we are one step closer to bliss.*
  9. glassfranger

    glassfranger Member

    To relapse is not a sin... it only makes you stronger if you are determined to beat your addiction... Valium is a drug I would give a wide berth, it destroys the soul. If your doctor prescribed it to you, find another doctor.
    Valium erase's memory. If you have no memory, there's no point living.
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