I have lost it. Completely. I was doing well but I guess my brain chemistry has changed in the last few days,I don't know what's wrong with me, i'm drowning in darkness My sisters want nothing to do with me- my fault entirely, my older sister understands but doesn't quite know what to say, im not very good at opening up when im feeling bad, so all im going to say is I want to be dead. My local psych ward is full not that I think it would change anything anyway. I don't want to be here *shakes head* I'm envious of deceased people. The anxiety is crippling, what's stopping me? I don't want to be a vegetable. I'n anxious, paranoid and full of anger and hatred.