yesterday the urge to kill myself was so strong. im a junior high school teacher and its a horrible yr. my students dont listen to me, no matter what i do nothing works. the little fucks throw water bottles, yell in my class, totally ignore me or talk back to me. after work i frigging cut myself with knives in the washroom. yesterday was the first day after spring break, i had a new motivational plan, putting them into teams and getting them prizes to work towards, they dont give a shit. im a total failure. i felt like killing myself yesterday, in the school building after everyone left. i dont want to live anymore, im going to work in half an hour and waiting for more of the same. i feel like a walking corpse, im dead already. i believe in God and that Jesus died on the cross for me b/c He loves me, but i dont love or care about myself anymore.