want to kill myself

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by anonymuss, Jan 15, 2010.

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  1. anonymuss

    anonymuss Member

    since a couple of days I tought its getting more in more intense.
    I have asked a girl i liked and she turned me down and she likes at least 10 other guyz better than me and if anyone would just say hi to her and smile she would maybe go out on a date with them before me.

    I went to a dating site. I keep constantly beeing blocked or rejected. Some find my pics ugly im sure and don't say it. When i don't put my photo things get a little further for some reason. I constantly have the feeling that my life is over . im 24.

    now i was thinking of an easy way to kill myself. Im pretty sure no one in my family cares anymore about me. When i speak to my brother he yells at me tells me im crazy and that im always bored and lonely and that he dosent want to talk to me cause im stupid. My family is sick of me in the house. Im trying to apply in jobs but i really hate the field of studies i chose. I taught that if i could find a girlfriend i would be saved and maybe i would find a new purpose in life but it's been the opposite im feeling more suicidal since im trying. My sleep is terrible and i have a very low self esteem. the pain comes from not having the life i wanted , not having friends, not beeing able to have friends and not loving my life and seeing a way out of this. My only options were having a girlfriend and talking to my family again but i keep getting ignored and rejected everywhere. I constantly have a bloody nose 2 , and i think i may have a atrophic rhitinis du to a doctor last year that lied to me on a operation. Im not sure at 100% im feeling like this because of that but i just noticed that my life started falling from that point. I hate my face for sur and now when i see the doctors they tell me its a rare thing or its in my head.
  2. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    aww I'm sorry your feeling like that...have you talked to a therapist? because maybe you're a bit depressed and they could help you...

    dont give up, your still a baby, 24 is very young, you have your whole life ahead of you...I know right now its hard, but maybe you can change fields? go back to school? Or get a job and work at it for a little while so you can get out of your home?
  3. supermodel

    supermodel Well-Known Member

    Dating isn't easy for anyone! Trust me. I've been single for six years now. I get rejected all the time but I don't give up. Building a relationship with someone is NOT the reason why we were put on this earth.

    IT takes time to meet someone with the right chemistry and that you are attracted to for things to work.

    Try building YOURSELF and your self esteem up before you bring another person in to begin sharing your life.

    also remember, people out there, especially those you may want to date can sense things on people.

    I went on a date one time and I tried laughing and pretending to be having a great time. But at the end of the date, he told me, "You must be the saddest girl in the world. You are very depressed." And with that, I never heard from him again.

    Learn to love yourself and love will come.
  4. asking_advice

    asking_advice Well-Known Member

    im single for 5 years. no guys ever tried to ask me for a date. i dont kill myself because of that. life is more than a romantic relationship. try to browse the thread here in suicideforum and you will observe that there are people who are still suicidal even they have relationships. no one can complete us but ourselves.
  5. anonymuss

    anonymuss Member

    5, 6 years that's not too bad. im on my 12th year of beiing single if i consider the normal age to start dating is 13, 14, basically ive always been.

    reply to supermodel

    hi, if you tried to laugh it only shows that you wanted to give the person confidence that it was fun, and you were trying to be nice . It dosen't necessaraly mean that your depressed maybe that person felt insulted that you weren't sincere but i think you were maybe just a little nervous that there would be a ackward moment of silence...am I wrong? Maybe after he said that comment you started thinking you were not normal cause you weren't really laughing? I think his comment was really out of place what's the point in saying that ...maybe im misinterprating but that's how i'm imaginating the situation. People often don't detect good intention they just judge by the surface and are easily offended.

    That's a good example why i don't get it sometimes. Guyz who act superior and tough and hurt other always get the win...I'm a looser cause i want to be cool and nice with a person, and i than get jealous and angry at life cause i see people with huge selfshiness getting so much attention and love... I guess beiing smart is beeing able to act a way to be attractive so maybe im the pathetic idiot.

    Im confused about what to do to talk with girls .
    I tried acting beeing nice, beeing sweet, beeing myself, asking questions, opening subjects and even beiing dirty..On the internet it's a real challenge but in real life it's somehow easier. The only problem is were can i find girls outside that i can talk to and ask for a date except work and school. Dating sites are really not working for me for whatever reason...i really don't want to become 30 and have no experiences...that's depressing !
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 16, 2010
  6. supermodel

    supermodel Well-Known Member

    6 years isn't too bad? I am 30! LOL. All my friends are married while everyone is looking at me asking, "So do you have anyone special in your life?'

    Nope....Society tends to look down on single women more than they do guys. Trust me.

    What I meant when I told you about my experience is that people can often get vibes when something isn't right in your life. Such as this guy knew that I was depressed even when I wasn't "acting like it" He just happened to pin point it.

    I talked to this other guy for awhile but I really wasn't feeling him. I really couldn't pinpoint it at first but when I thought about it, I knew what it was.

    He is the sweetest most nicest guy you could ever meet!!! But he is very insecure and doesn't have a very high opinion about himself. It wasn't evident at first but the more we talked, the more it became clear.

    These people that you may meet could be getting that same vibe from you, even if they aren't able to pinpoint it. You should work on YOURSELF first before delving into the relationship ring.

    Confidence turns people on. Insecurity makes people head in the other direction.

    Trust me, it takes a strong person to handle the ups and downs of dating. I had to realize that and I took a giant step backwards to work on myself and some other things that I wanted to accomplish.

    Now I'm sticking my toe in the pool of dating and testing out the waters....
  7. asking_advice

    asking_advice Well-Known Member

    i never had real relationships. it only involved sex before. no man ever like me as a girlfriend. im 21 years old so meaning im single for 7 years based on your age dating that 13-14 years old. i realized, if there is no man then it's ok. as i said in my last post, life is more than romantic relationships. i dont make an effort to have a bf or do stupid things like before.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 17, 2010
  8. anonymuss

    anonymuss Member

    yes it's hard beiing single i suppose the hardest part is trying n failling !! When i just play videogames i can become happier , than i go play guitar, train im better im better. Finally i try talking and beeinng close to a girl and i fall back and loose all joy and fun in life for 2-3 days . than it's starts over i do other activities try again fail try again fail...it's constant agony and feeling of not beiing adequate for life ...

    Just now a girl said my photo was cute but she dosent know that it's an old photo and that my nose surgery changed my whole face ...how can i be confident in a conversation with her when i have all these bad experiences that remind me im not gonna succeed in having any relation with her...the worst feeling in the world is when i talk on msn and the other person suddenly pulls the plug. makes me feel like im crazy ...
  9. janiek

    janiek New Member

    I think getting involved in something that interests you is very helpful, whatever that may be (a hobby, music, the environment, politics, book clubs, cars, animals - just anything you like to do or study). And it may be the place to meet people who have an interest in common with you. That's the basis for a relationship - sharing interests and goals. And, until you meet someone that shares an interest in common with you, then the activity itself, of being involved in something you care, about can be sustaining.

    I confess to being severely depressed right now. Though I have interests, I don't have the energy to do anything about it. But just having to think about what can help I find actually helpful.
  10. supermodel

    supermodel Well-Known Member

    You have to STOP looking for happiness in other people. Trust me, they will fail you everytime.

    You have to look for happiness in yourself. Seriously. I know that sounds all cliche but it is the truth!

    People fail you all the time. When you have expectations for someone else to love you, they may not go with that game plan.

    Then what do you do?

    Find happiness in yourself first before you go looking for love or you will start to take every disappointing thing that happens too personally and deeply!

    If that person doesn't call, or respond to an email soon enough for you, your insecurities that you have will take over and that's not good.
  11. TWF

    TWF Well-Known Member

    Yup, you'll get a girl soon, I'm sure. Hope things change for you.
  12. asking_advice

    asking_advice Well-Known Member

    agree :D
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