want to shout right now

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by jimk, Oct 7, 2008.

  1. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    i am on the staff of another website. feel a need to be strong and supportive there most of the time. am tired of that situation ATM.

    my mental illnesses and my crying in my beer music is getting the best of me now. it had been a couple of weeks since last dissociative episode and then today wham bam, I got you!!!! started with the episodes at age 5 and you would think by my current age of almost 62 yrs they would be done? not going to happen.

    flashbacks, terror and great fear, they are going to get me again. last thing remember for couple of hours. mind had to get away ASAP and off i went. have not a clue what i have been doing. hard part is when start coming back to earth. not knowing which name, what day, where am i, what should have done and do now. part of me believes in a god... have to. gave me this ability to run and get away as needed. very scary but always have come back to my earth eventually. disabled son John always is ok still and guess whoever i am now seems to be in one piece... sort of

    feeling real small now. got john ready to go with his mom and he is off now. time to turn off the sad music. stop puffing on the marlboros. loggon to my home website and check how everyone else is doing and if any lost lambs could use a hand.

    time to put on the mask and move on and try to make sense out of this world... Jim
  2. xpsyuvz

    xpsyuvz Active Member

    Re: want to shout rite now

    Wow, that is so similar to what I'm feeling right now.
    (My mental problems are slightly different but) recently had an attack, wanted to punch my voices.
    I have to go to work soon.
    Mask time...