Want to sleep

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by voices_inmy_head, Jan 18, 2010.

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  1. voices_inmy_head

    voices_inmy_head Well-Known Member

    I'm getting worried that I've had enough. I used to feel guilty that I would destroy others if I killed myself, but there is pretty much no one left. I just wish everyone would go away so I could get it over with. I even googled what to take to do the job. Never done that before. I know I need help but I don't have the energy now, or the surport or the money. I'm sure if I called up and said I'm going to do it, I'm going to kill myself something may happen, someone may try to help me. But I'm not sure I want everyone to know, I don't want those I work with to look at me and tread carefully around me I don't need that. I'm not sure want I need and want. I think I am going to give up soon. I want too
  2. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    Your co-workers don't need to know. The people on help lines can tell you what resources are available to you. :hug:
  3. ZombieNation

    ZombieNation Active Member

    This is exactly how I feel :( I've done alot of googeling as you said and it's quite scary that I could just go to the shop and buy somethings. But I just can't do it - Just hang in there and keep telling yourself what you want to do and that you will accomlpish that :) See a doctor/councelor *hugs*
  4. supermodel

    supermodel Well-Known Member

    I actually started looking up my beneficiary information to make sure my affairs were taken care of.

    That's how close I've gotten.

    Look, these feelings that we on this community have may NEVER go away. I've learned to deal with that. I try to get my pain level to at least tolerable to where I am able to get some help.

    As much time as you're spending on googling methods, you could also google for help that's affordable where you live.

    You have an instinct in you to live. Make that instinct stronger than your feelings of death.

    Get help. We are here for you!
  5. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    The closest I have come to actually doing it where I would be succesful was one day I was <edit> holding it to my head crying because I knew that my daughter and especially my grandaughter would be scarred for life..So I gave my <edit> to my brother.. Since then I have come close three times but the members here helped me to put things back into perspective..Check with your hospitals mental health ward and find out if there are any depression groups in town..At least then you can put faces to the people you are talking with..You always have us also.. Plenty of support here.. Keep posting and you will make friends here who you are comfortable talking to..Take care!!
  6. dzd

    dzd Well-Known Member

    I did a bit of googling too but after my two failed attempts (which were quite a while back), I haven't tried anything.

    I really hope you take help and it helps you.
  7. voices_inmy_head

    voices_inmy_head Well-Known Member

    I really just want the surport of my family but the either don't see, don't care or don't want to see how broken I am. I can hardly lift my head up anymore. I want help but my doctors don't listen to me when I've told them how depressed I am, I'm sure I'm making excuses but until I have surport I don't think I will be able to get any help.

    Thank you for all your kind words. It does help to know I'm not as alone as I feel.
  8. dzd

    dzd Well-Known Member

    I know the feeling. My family and friends did not take me seriously for a long time and used to tell me to 'get over it'.
    I understand your pain.
    You're definitely not the only one. :hugtackles:
  9. History

    History Well-Known Member

    I've done a lot of googling too. There is a google group that has a few methods but the chemicals needed don't seem to be easily available and it's way too complicated.
  10. betteroffunknown

    betteroffunknown Well-Known Member

    all i've been doing is sleeping i can so relate to ya. keep talking though or if you want to pm please feel free too. please take care
  11. bringer of light

    bringer of light Well-Known Member

    Why are you concerned with what those around you think?

    I do as well but my ending is more on the biblical scale rather than putting a fart cushion on a more senior members seat.

    Grow up and fight to the bitter the end. I already accepted I am going to hell, so I have freedom.
  12. swimmergirl

    swimmergirl Well-Known Member

    I have been , and am, this close as well. It is scary and frustrating and everything you described. I feel trapped. Trust me, you are not the only one struggling with this, I know how hard it is to find the help you need and ask for it and have someone take you seriously. It often doesn't seem worth the effort. I am trying to convince myself to try, to not give up, to just keep breathing and get through every painful hour, it has to get better eventually, or at least, less intense, right? It can't keep feeling this bad forever, at least that is what I keep telling myself when I get too close to the edge, the waiting though feels like it could kill you though. Right now, I am still alive because I love my dog too much. Sadly, that is really the only connection that matters to me right now, but it is still a connection. And sometimes that is enough.
  13. bluedays

    bluedays Well-Known Member

    I feel the same. I don't want to survive one more day and I wish everyone would go away so that I'd have the courage to do it. I'd be gone tonight if it was just a matter of flipping a switch.
  14. bringer of light

    bringer of light Well-Known Member

    No. It does not get any better. Nor does it get any worse. Well, I suppose it does. As a ghost you can't kill your enemies anymore. Bet then again your enemies can't own a ghost either.
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