Want to stop feeling

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by JustScott, Feb 25, 2014.

  1. JustScott

    JustScott Well-Known Member

    I just... I can't deal with the depressions. It's just too much, I would gladly give up feeling happy and not being able to smile if it meant not having to deal with the shitty moods and the depressive periods, and the suicidal thoughts all night, every night.

    I have to try and drown my thoughts out, but now that's getting hazardous as I'm getting tinnitus constantly and it's damaging my hearing.
    I'm lucky enough to have someone who cares for me, and who I care about a great deal, but I don't want to put the burden of me feeling this crappy onto her, she has her own problems to deal with and they're enough without me adding to the mix. I'd drink but I can't afford it. I'd smoke weed but I told myself I'd stop all drugs for my girlfriend.

    I don't want to be this emotional. I'd be happy as an unemotional cyberman. Please.

    I want out. Music and that one person, are the only things keeping me going, the rest is just background noise.
     
  2. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    Sorry things are so bad for you right now with the depression and lows. Also sorry to ask the obvious question, but have you talked to a Doctor about the possibility of medication or if on medication to change it to try to get a little better control of how low the lows get?

    I hope you get some relief soon, you are such a good person in chat and always are there for others, hopefully some of this comes back to you and you get a little help as well.

    Take Care

    Ben
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    i can relate i can hard when depression hits but i do hope you have talked to your doc ok get on meds get some therapy so you can get out of that blackness hugs
     
  4. JustScott

    JustScott Well-Known Member

    I honestly haven't been to the doctor yet. I don't feel like they understand how hard it is and don't give me the right meds. Either that or I'm some kind of anomaly that doesn't react to them like normal people do. It's weird, I've said in chat before, I can take doses that would knock out a person that's used to that level of dose and still be wide awake.

    Thank you, for your kind words. I just do what I think is right, and want to help the people on here as much as they help me.

    Thank you also, eclipse. I'm thinking about re-starting therapy (Yeah, I keep starting and stopping that too - guess I don't really help myself), so it might help. :hugs:
     
  5. fam6236

    fam6236 Member

    I have to say that I too was struggling with severe depression. I went to numerous doctors and they never put me on the right meds. I basically just found a medication that I looked up myself. Paxil is a good one. Do not give up, trust me medication does help