I know exactly what I would have to do to die, and it is looking so good right now. I'm not sure if it's because I actually want to die or because I like the color. I'm sitting here staring and rearranging them and it's taking all of the little willpower I have left not to do it. I want to so bad. It's hard to stop myself. It wouldn't be fair to the group though. We have dress rehearsal tomorrow. Hmm. It's the same old place. Can't make a decision...but this time I want to and I'm trying to hold myself back. My brain likes things like that look pretty when they're arranged right.