Wanted to again, about did

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by CyberGlitch, Nov 24, 2010.

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  1. CyberGlitch

    CyberGlitch Member

    Wife and I are in a bad place right now. She's not getting what she needs from me and made a "friend" with a guy co-worker. He kissed her a few days ago, she said she backed away and when she got home immediately told me about it. So I've got that on my mind.

    She's still been talking to him and taking breaks with him at work. So last night out of desperation I asked her straight up. She has to chose between him or me and our family (10yr marriage, 2 kids). With no hesitation and no emotions she said him.

    I went to the bed room with my knife and started to cut my forearm and then finally to my wrist. It wasn't sharp enough so I went to the bathroom for the razors and she saw and asked what I was doing. I said I'll solve everyone's problems and make everyone happy. I started to cut with the razor but just couldn't do it. Then my 7yo came in and saw the blood on my arm and was crying and saying don't hurt yourself daddy. It just made me feel awful and I just couldn't do it. I want to so bad for this to be all over.
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I know you're hurting, I can't imagine what you must be going through right now. But your kids need you. Please try to hold on, stay here and talk to us, you don't have to go through it alone.
  3. CyberGlitch

    CyberGlitch Member

    That's exactly it. I am alone.

    I have no family around. They only call maybe 2-3 times a year and that's only b/c of the kids. I've really made no friends here in the 11 years I've been here. The ones I have sometime happened and it just never worked out.

    So yes, I am alone. If my wife leaves me then I'm honestly and fully alone. No more reasons to stick around this earth.
  4. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    You have your kids. They'll always be a reason for you to stick around. They love you and need their father in their lives.

    Do you have friends or people you can talk to online? I know it's not the same as having people to hang out with, but it's a start to feeling less alone.
  5. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    Cyber Im sorry you feel so low, sorry your going through these hard times.

    Please for your kids sake dont do this, get the help that your needing right now, its nothing to be ashamed of. You need to be strong for your children and show them that sometimes life throws shit at you but you can get past it.

    It must be super hard for you to see and hear what your wife is doing, and I think its unfair of her to be like that when she is still with you.

    If there is no way of reconciling your marriage and Im not even sure you want to then you need to sit down and think of your next step, what needs to be done for you and your children. Once you get in your mind what needs to be done it will hopefully keep you busy and these thoughts and feelings your having will atleast taper off a little.

    Im here if you ever want to chat.
  6. CyberGlitch

    CyberGlitch Member

    That's what I'm thinking of the kids. If my wife leaves me I know there is a good chance she'll win full custody over a long legal battle. So why not stop it all right now and let her have them and move on? We both move on in our own ways and save money for the kids.

    I think everyone would be happier without me around.
  7. LightInTheDarkestNight

    LightInTheDarkestNight Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry about your situation. About your kids you being there and happy will make your kids happy, don't get too focused on custody I don't know the details. Taking your word on things at the very least you should get some type of visitation, and that is only until there 18, which is far from all of their life.

    Try to be selfish and focus on yourself as in your own interests and hobbies, as well as your kids. If she's been doing this with another man behind your back and choose him over you then you deserve better. There is always the possibility for marriage counseling but I wouldn't count on it.

    I know it's harder with kids in the picture and her being your wife rather than just a girlfriend but you should try not to rely on someone else other than yourself for happiness. Obviously this is much easier said then done we all react to the world around and can't always control our emotions, feelings and circumstances.

    I understand it would be easier if you had more of a support system with friends to go out with and party, maybe someone to comfort you and possibly even another woman for a rebound(although it may be much too early to consider that) but I think you get what I'm getting at.

    Anyways despite the rough time you're having in your marriage try to be positive about other things and think about the good in your life such as what you can be grateful for being blessed with.

    Good luck.
  8. StevenSiew

    StevenSiew Well-Known Member

    If you move on then you will nothing left to live for.
  9. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    Im sorry I disagree, no court is going to take your children away unless you abuse them. Kids need both parents. I know I grew up without a father, please know that they NEED you.

    You have to get yourself together for your children. What your wife is doing to you, your children have no control over. They will be the ones that will hurt from this, they will be the ones that have to say to other kids my dad cant be here because he killed himself.

    Really think about this and what the outcome for your family, your kids, and everyone around you will be. Do you think that this is the way to get back at your wife, its not. She will then get depression and have to explain to your children that you left because of something she did, which will cause depression for her, then what if she decides she can take the guilt and all and leaves your kids to. Suicide creates a cycle, dont let this taint your children, be strong for them if you cant be strong for yourself right now.
  10. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I agree you need to get yourself together and stop cutting.. You don't want scars if this goes to court.. The judge will more than likely give you joint custody..You said your seven year old saw the blood and started crying... He loves you and needs you..Don't let this drag you down.. I went thry six years of trying to reconsile with my ex and she would keep cheating on me..I filed for joint custody of my daughter but my wife skipped town with her before it went to the courts.. Otherwise she left before she was ordered for visitation..I hope you can hold on..
  11. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Maybe you and your wife should try marriage counselling before you separate. You have children to think about who need both of you. I hope you can work things out. :hug:
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