wanting so badly =(

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Sa Palomera, Jan 20, 2007.

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  1. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    I had my last hashcookie on New Year's Eve. Had a hard time the days after that, but then it got easier. But right now I just want it soo badly. I'm feeling physically weak because I don't have any at the moment. It's like I need it.

    And the alcohol... After being drunk from New Years Eve until like January 3rd I finally stopped drinking, about a week ago I had a bit of wine again. Only one bottle though. and few days after that I had half a bottle of wine. If there had been more alcohol in the house I woulda had more. It's just that the constant want for alcohol is there. I keep on fighting it. And after having a really really rough night yesterday evening. Upsetting people and trying to stop people from killing themselves, the want for both alcohol and hash is so damn big. I just want it to go. I have to stay strong, can't give in, cos I simply don't have the money for it. I do not want to go back to where I was 2,5 years ago, I do not want to borrow any money. I know what I ended up doing back then and I can't go there again..

    Will it ever stop? Will I ever be able to live without the constant want for alcohol or hash?
     
  2. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    Of course you will hun, its not surprising. Yeah you did have a really rough time last night and the reason your feeling that urge is because most of your life you've used hash and alcohol as your escape route. Its gonna take time to get past that, buts its only time, the feelings will pass.

    You can get past it, you have no idea how proud i am. Seriously you aint got a clue. I KNOW you can do this. I have so much faith in you. Things will get better, trust me. So many people have urges for drugs and alcohol they can get through it, your just as strong as them, if not stronger, you CAN do this.

    Love ya,

    Viks x

    <3
     
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