I had my last hashcookie on New Year's Eve. Had a hard time the days after that, but then it got easier. But right now I just want it soo badly. I'm feeling physically weak because I don't have any at the moment. It's like I need it. And the alcohol... After being drunk from New Years Eve until like January 3rd I finally stopped drinking, about a week ago I had a bit of wine again. Only one bottle though. and few days after that I had half a bottle of wine. If there had been more alcohol in the house I woulda had more. It's just that the constant want for alcohol is there. I keep on fighting it. And after having a really really rough night yesterday evening. Upsetting people and trying to stop people from killing themselves, the want for both alcohol and hash is so damn big. I just want it to go. I have to stay strong, can't give in, cos I simply don't have the money for it. I do not want to go back to where I was 2,5 years ago, I do not want to borrow any money. I know what I ended up doing back then and I can't go there again.. Will it ever stop? Will I ever be able to live without the constant want for alcohol or hash?