Wanting suicide so bad but not depressed?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Uze, Aug 30, 2010.

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  1. Uze

    Uze Member

    Hello, about 2-5 years ago [don't remember actual time] I was severely depressed, but i got hot help and medication and my life turned around for the better :3

    A couple years after that, as in, now, I can't stop wanting to commit suicide. but I AM NOT DEPRESSED ANYMORE! I'm actually fairly happy, but I just feel like this world can't offer me anything anymore. I want to see what's beyond this world, as in the "life after death"

    i want to see things no other humans see
    and i want to live in a utopia

    Of course, I'll never be able to do it until i either am old enough for a gun, or someone find a quick and painless way to do it. [I suck with pain]

    So, thats..normal right? I mean, I dont think its ABNORMAL

    i dont even know what my question is, maybe, why do i want to die so much? when im not even sad? >w< I hope I'm making sense here
     
  2. To be honest. Simple reply.

    Do not surrender either to yourself or to your enemy.
     
  3. Uze

    Uze Member

    I don't really know what that means D;
    i dont feel my suicide would be a surrender?
     
  4. The people who crave fame want us dead.

    I only seek fame when they are dead.

    Hope that explains it.
     
  5. Uze

    Uze Member

    it still doesnt

    please forgive my inferior intelligence
     
  6. Robin

    Robin Guest

    Mental illness of any kind, even sane folk, can be fickle but I guess it's like anything, you can reason/justify anything, if you attempt to reach utopia by means of reason that no-one else has attempted so far you face a serious issue. If you are absolutely correct in everything you have reasoned, utopia is going to be pretty lonely just by yourself there. That's the best case scenario you have, the rest is just glamour(?).

    You might for some reason have lost all fear and an increased desire in curiosity/danger, could be any number of things, it might be abnormal as in a dr might have a list of symptoms you match or you just might be a natural product of evolution, as we all are.

    The important thing is, there are billions of people in the world, billions of beliefs with subtle changes, and while it is possible you may be correct and them wrong, it's not likely?

    See your GP, there may be something driving these complex emotions that only a professional will be able to make sense of, there could be something lurking deep, or maybe an allergy to some common chemical.

    It'd be nice to believe you could reach utopia/nirvana but for our sakes as well as yours, I hope you are wrong.
     
  7. Uze

    Uze Member

    Thank you for responding with an actual response xD

    As far as the lonliness, I don't feel that, I never have. I'm constantly by myself and I prefer it that way. Being in a utopia all by myself is the epitome of happiness to me.

    I don't know what a GP is, im sorry >w< I'm 17 years old if this helps. But ive felt this way for a good couple of years
     
  8. A GP is a General Practioner. General implies what it it says on the box. Not in the way of rank, rather jack of all trades and master of none.

    6 billion would not be to hard to kill, if required. Just infect them with ebola and your own the world.
     
  9. Uze

    Uze Member

    I see, well, I prefer not to speak with any profressional. I don't trust them =/

    Also, I'm not looking to kill all of the humans, I think your problems are deeper than this forum.
     
  10. Robin

    Robin Guest

    A GP is just a general practitioner, I guess a fancy name for a Doctor :) You should pop along to one, or maybe a school/college counsellor, someone who knows about these things :) If they can't help you've lost nothing, if your plan is going to work it will work today, tomorrow or 90 years from now, nobodies rushing you out the door here :) :hug:
     
  11. Uze

    Uze Member

    You probably missed my last post xD I do not wish to speak with any sort of doctor, I highly doubt they could help me understand more. This is free, going to a doctor to spout me bullshit is not free :c
     
  12. Robin

    Robin Guest

    Ebola is absolutely useless as a weapon of mass destruction and I don';t know any of the things you've claimed to know. This is your only warning, if you are not here to provide support for others or to ask for support the only other thing you are looking for is an audience. I have no professional opinion in any capacity and I'll be the first to admit I'm a few thrusters short of a rocket ship, but my subjective view is you should seek professional medical attention, which is something we simply can not provide nor even choose to provide.
     
  13. Robin

    Robin Guest

    Yea I did miss your last post sorry :) So how did you find us?
     
  14. Uze

    Uze Member

    It's alright Robin. I searched "suicide forum" on google and it was the first one to pop up. I tried lots of other forums but no one was on and I don't sleep till late and I was hoping to get some insight now xD
     
  15. Robin

    Robin Guest

    It's not a prob :) Am either asleep or wasting time doing something other than something useful usually now, but tonight I am here, for better or worse lol

    Most folks find us the same way, but is that unique enough to get into Utopia or does it point to something a lil more common?
     
  16. Uze

    Uze Member

    I don't understand the question ._.

    Basically, I want to die so I can live in the utopia by myself. And if not, at least see the things i cant see if im alive.
     
  17. Look, I respect your site, but I constantly get the power struggle thing going on.

    I admit, I am going through a crisis and the ebola thing was just something I dreamt up.

    I am depressed myself, but I am not willing to let others put me down. I would rather help others, but I think the power struggle sort of goes in my favour considering I can use proxy servers.

    But anyway. Look I have an alcohol problem and I have narcissistic personality disorder and I want to die.
     
  18. Robin

    Robin Guest

    Well the question is, the universe has been here for billions of years, or 6,000 depending on what you believe, either is still a lot longer than either of us are gonna live for, all I'm asking is, what's the rush? :) See what's down here first :)

    Hiyas Bringer, am gonna continue this conversation with you in your own thread so that neither support is confused :)
     
  19. Uze

    Uze Member

    Oh alright, I know what you mean now Robin. I think I've lived long enough here, 17 years might not seem like a long time to some people but its a lifetime to me. I'm ready to move on and see stuff you can't see until your dead. I want to know things no human will ever understand, and dying is the only way to do that
     
  20. Robin

    Robin Guest

    What's the rush though? And in your reply to someone else, you've already shown more empathy (the ability to sympathise with another human being that is in pain) who is not only much older but is in completely different circumstances. I really don't think you are giving yourself enough credit :)
     
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