Wanting to Cut...only a matter of time!

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by GoldenPsych, Dec 10, 2010.

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  1. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    I have managed not to seriously cut now since the 12th November. I have done a couple of superficial but I feel as though I need to go deep. Need to feel the flesh tearing. It's something that is always there and then the urges get really strong. It's only a matter of time I feel!

    I try to keep occupied when the urges get really bad, I usually write on my blog about things and just have a rant. Tonight I am feeling so anxious that as I lie in bed I can feel my heart pounding so hard as all I can think of is the razor in my dressing table, already out of the sheath and broken up ready to use.

    I hate this. I hate the way it rules my life!
  2. Decode

    Decode Well-Known Member

    I've been feeling like i want to cut bad for ages. It is a scary thought, i hope you manage to get though it unhurt. Do you want to do it?
  3. Decode

    Decode Well-Known Member

    You could you remove you blades, blunt them or something. I know thats temporary solution, but might help those feelings pass.
  4. Madam Mim

    Madam Mim Well-Known Member

    Hey golden, I'm not sure what I can say that might help, but just wanted to show that I care and wish I could help.

    Well done for not cutting for so long, that really is an achievement and I hope you're proud of yourself (that sounds sarcastic, but it really isn't!). I think that now you need to implement a reward system for yourself, to motivate you to continue. Tomorrow you will not have cut for a month, so why not treat yourself to something? You certainly deserve it!

    As Decode says, try to get rid of your blades. I know how comforting it is to have them around and to hand, but you know now that you can cope for a month without them. If it's too hard, try starting with putting them somewhere less easily accessible, like at the back of a wardrobe or in a locked box. For each week you don't use them, move them somewhere even harder to get to, until you can eventually get rid of them entirely.

    I hope you have managed to resist so far. Keep posting whenever the urge strikes, it will help.

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