Wanting to do it!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by June, Jun 4, 2010.

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  1. June

    June Well-Known Member

    I want to end it all! Within the next few days I am going to get the things I need. I can't anymore. Whenever I try to talk to someone, they let me down. They say I'm acting childish and naive. I'm sick of it! Is it too much to ask for help? Why do I get hurting responses in return? I had enough of feeling like that.
     
  2. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    oh hun :hug: dont kill yourself...if you need to talk to someone im here...and i wont think your childish...let me try to help before you do this? please? :hug:
     
  3. June

    June Well-Known Member

    I can't anymore!!! Every time I try to talk it ends up badly, making me feel even worse than before. I can read those lines you write to me and I appreciate them but I can't help it anymore. I'm feeling lost...
     
  4. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    :( hun...i promise you i wont judge you....you can do this...you dont need to kill yourself... come on hun :hug:
     
  5. deniston

    deniston Member

    Just think, life is life and death is death. Death is the end, there is no second shot. Something maybe beyond life, but then again something may not be. We all die in the end, I think you should think long and hard about the people around you. It may end for you, but how many lives will it begin to end for? How many will end up in your position now? This is what helps me. It doesn't matter how low I get, while there are people around me that I know would be destroyed by my death, I can't do it. If the day comes that I lose that thought, then I should imagine I'll be dead within hours. However, just think long and hard. I tend to wonder how many who have taken their lives would come back if they had the chance.
     
  6. June

    June Well-Known Member

    "hun...i promise you i wont judge you....you can do this...you dont need to kill yourself... come on hun""

    I can't!!! I tried for so many years, I can't take it anymore. Everything seems so useless...

    "Just think, life is life and death is death. Death is the end, there is no second shot. Something maybe beyond life, but then again something may not be."

    Death is the end, yes, this is what I want! I don't want another shot at live... I went through so much that I can't take anymore.
    Who would feel sad? My mum, who I talk to twice in a year over skype? My sister, who I lost a close relationship with as soon as she got older? My grandparents, who I'm not in contact with? My 'friends', who didn't even knock once at my door this night or called?
    The only person I could think of is my dad. And he would get used to it as well...
     
  7. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    I would feel sad...it would be like i failed you... im sure many on this forum would feel the same way that we couldnt offer enough support to change your mind and save your life hun :cry: dont go
     
  8. deniston

    deniston Member

    Its easy to think that, but once they get the call that you have taken your own life, things change. Once the shock subsides, the guilt creeps in, guilt turns to anger, to pain, sorrow and before you know it the very position you are in is the same position that a loved one is in. Your Dad won't get used to it, he will either barely cope or compleltey fold, but it will be with him for the rest of his days. Life can be awful, the pressures to maintain expectations of a society that judges success on social defined beauty, money and assets accumalated can be soul destroying, but nothing lasts forever, even pain and anguish. However, the pain of losing a loved one to suicide may only end when it is their turn to go. You shouldn't live your life for other people and it may seem like you shouldn't not end your life for other people, it is your life and that is correct. However, the biggest decision a Human can make should be understood completely. It doesn't rain all the time, people will suffer through your loss and once you're gone that is it, if the pain is so intense that even that does not matter, then you do what you must do because nothing anyone will say will change that. Just one last thought though, sometimes the pain can be so bad because at one stage what we had was so good. Maybe proof that those good times are never out of reach, even when the hurt blurs our sight of them.
     
  9. June

    June Well-Known Member

    Okay, they would find out. But whatever! People are sad for a certain time and then they get on with their lives.
    My mum has lost me the first time she laid hands on me! All the others are busy with their own lives. I don't make a difference! I never made a difference!
     
  10. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    you make a difference to this forum hun. I know you may not feel like you do but you do... :hug: how can i get to know you better if you do this? :cry:
     
  11. deniston

    deniston Member

    I know it may feel like that, but you do make a difference. The problem is that we take life for granted, all of us, so family members can take a back seat because in our short sighted mind, life is limitless, family will always be there. We can act like complete b***ards to them when we are angry, go to them when we need help and they will always be there, that is family. It shouldn't be like that becuase everything in life has a number next to it for how many times it will happen. Honestly, if your family knew how you were feeling, they'd be there for you. Opening up to someone is the most difficult thing to do, you're exposing yourself completely and handing them your heart, but maybe try it. What have you got to lose? If you're on the verge of taking your own life, you have nothing to lose now anyway.
     
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