wanting to go away

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by among the stars, May 1, 2008.

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  1. among the stars

    among the stars Well-Known Member

    Nobody needs me, i hurt everyone i get close to. I hurt (in one way or another) all my friends. Ive lost so many people, people that i feel wouldnt care if something happened to me -- im in the black hole and have been for the past week -- been thinking deep dark thoughts bout ways to just go away - somewhere no one could find me -- maybe slip away maybe not -- Im so scared and angry at the same time -- angry at everyone and everything including myself and scared that i will do something. Everyone on this forum and others say it will get easier but as the 1 year anniversary comes around it only get harder w/ more crying and more hateful, morbid dreams....maybe i should just slip away - no one will probably even notice that i was gone from their lives....
     
  2. ItThing

    ItThing Well-Known Member

    Did something happen or have you just been feeling this way? Tell me what's bothering you :sad:
     
  3. middleofnowhere

    middleofnowhere Well-Known Member

    It's possible for life to get better. It doesn't necessarily happen in a day or a month or a year. I know, we get really tired of waiting and hoping for life to change. I've been in major depression for around 7 years, and suicidal for the past three. But I have to say that I'm now less depressed and less suicidal than I was a year ago. There is hope for we who are hopeless.
     
  4. I don't know what your problem is because of how vague it is. Feeling tragicly depressed is common. What's the 1 year anniversary?

    People are really not important at all, they are generally useless. Finding a friend, a good one, is really hard because they are hidden with in groups of people. I suggest being awesome, it helps you become better than others. When people try to keep you down remind them they are dumb and you are awesome.

    If you want to be liked you will have to sacrifice parts of yourself, and you become a victim. However there are people who don't expect anything from you, and they are out there, and they make awesome friends cause you sacrifice nothing and share between each other.
     
  5. among the stars

    among the stars Well-Known Member

    the 1 year anniversary is for my moms death from cancer last june. 8 1/2 years of hell - but she never gave up....i dont know how she did it....

    im sitting her with a knife up against my chest -- i dont care anymore -- im so tired of being here and getting crap from people but this or that, dont know how to handle the constant running commentary in my head - and all of it is negative -- cant stand the dark morbid dreams anymore...so tired of crying for several hours at nite and not being able to control my emotions or my actions when i am this way...scared and tired of all the times i vomit - i dont even really eat anymore cuz of it....i feel alone, so very alone...i kno im still quite young but i feel old, broken-down and tired...I feel like im 80 yrs old!!! Im sick of getting used and then dumped...maybe i deserved to be dumped, like a piece of garbage...and thats what my body will be once im thru w/ it!!!
     
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