Wanting to harm myself at the thought of going home

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Rockclimbinggirl, Jun 3, 2016.

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  1. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support

    Just thinking about going home has increased my suicidal ideations and is making me want to self harm. Yet I still sort of want to go home. I know that I need to do what is best for me but at the moment it seems like I wont. I do not really know why, is this all due to self destruction.
     
  2. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support Forum Pro SF Supporter

    Hey Rocky, maybe fear of what the family and others will say/think. I still struggle with what others think of me, even if I'm doing something that I know will not be good for me. It's a tough decision.
    Brian
     
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    *hugs* Have you made the decision to go yet? I am sorry this is going to be traumatic for you with all the memories flying around your head but you can get through this and you will. we're here for you.
     
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  4. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    I get that way when visiting my side of the family. I try to stay near my husband at all times and feel safer. Is there someone you trust and feel safe near when going there? Maybe ask if they can stay near you at all times. Hope everything goes well
     
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  5. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support

    No I have not. My mom gave me the date. I have not talked about flights with her yet.

    Counsellor said it is up to me. Psychiatrist said that if I do go make sure I have a story.

    I am worrried that I wont be able to handle being at home.
     
  6. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support

    I wish there was. But no.
     
  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    If you are worried you won't be able to handle being at home then I think not going is your safest option. Might not be the best decision but might be the right one. If you go....nah I'll stop writing here, I don't think you should, JMO.
     
  8. lightning05

    lightning05 Well-Known Member

    If you are going to be in danger of SH or don't think you can handle it I agree with Petal that going home might night be the right idea. Have you thought about what gives you such anxiety about being there? I hope you feel better. *hugs*
     
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  9. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    I agree, maybe it's best not to go if you maybe at higher risk of doing something self-destructive. You are so important.
     
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  10. MyCatWillMissMe

    MyCatWillMissMe Well-Known Member

    I was recently in a similar situation and I chose to not go for the safety of myself and others. If it's giving you terrible anxiety then don't go.
     
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  11. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support

    So I have informed my parents thru text that I do not want to go.

    But still going to have to call them :(
     
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  12. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support Forum Pro SF Supporter

    I know this is a hard decision Rocky, but it's probably best given how you feel. You're in turmoil and you're not even there yet. Try and relax and be at peace with your decision. I'm sorry you feel so bad my friend, sending positive thoughts to give you peace and calm.
    Hugs
    Brian
     
  13. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    I hope everything goes okay. We're here for you, always
     
  14. NinaZ

    NinaZ Active Member

    RCG, at least you have a home to go back to; if I leave, I have nowhere to go, I'd be homeless and I won't be able to go back.... Silver lining and all....
     
  15. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support

    There would likely be some family conflict. Also more memories would likely hit me.
     
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