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Just thinking about going home has increased my suicidal ideations and is making me want to self harm. Yet I still sort of want to go home. I know that I need to do what is best for me but at the moment it seems like I wont. I do not really know why, is this all due to self destruction.
Hey Rocky, maybe fear of what the family and others will say/think. I still struggle with what others think of me, even if I'm doing something that I know will not be good for me. It's a tough decision.
Brian
s* Have you made the decision to go yet? I am sorry this is going to be traumatic for you with all the memories flying around your head but you can get through this and you will. we're here for you.
I get that way when visiting my side of the family. I try to stay near my husband at all times and feel safer. Is there someone you trust and feel safe near when going there? Maybe ask if they can stay near you at all times. Hope everything goes well
If you are worried you won't be able to handle being at home then I think not going is your safest option. Might not be the best decision but might be the right one. If you go....nah I'll stop writing here, I don't think you should, JMO.
If you are going to be in danger of SH or don't think you can handle it I agree with Petal that going home might night be the right idea. Have you thought about what gives you such anxiety about being there? I hope you feel better. s*
I know this is a hard decision Rocky, but it's probably best given how you feel. You're in turmoil and you're not even there yet. Try and relax and be at peace with your decision. I'm sorry you feel so bad my friend, sending positive thoughts to give you peace and calm.
Hugs
Brian
RCG, at least you have a home to go back to; if I leave, I have nowhere to go, I'd be homeless and I won't be able to go back.... Silver lining and all....
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s* Have you made the decision to go yet? I am sorry this is going to be traumatic for you with all the memories flying around your head but you can get through this and you will. we're here for you.
