I haven't felt desperately suicidal for a while now thanks to meds, but I am thinking more and more about a rational choice to be done with everything. I am very stressed at the moment finishing off my study and going through legal and financial stuff to do with my separation. I'm just over everything, I'm holding on for what? Why? I'm never going to be happy again. I hate hearing about what my kids have been up to when they are with my ex and my ex-friend who he had an affair with. I just can't stand that she gets to spend just as much time with them as I do. Sure they need to spend some time with their dad, but her?! I hate it so much. And then I say things about her to my kids I probably shouldn't, but I can't see a way to pretend they are good people etc. Anyway with the career I am almost (if I carry on) about to begin, my psychiatrist has told me if I attempt suicide again I'll pretty much be out, career down the drain. So, if I'm going to make a choice I need to be definite I won't change my mind halfway through like last time. Sorry I'm rambling, it's late at night where I live and I can't sleep. Not sure what to do.