Let me start with my diagnosis I have OCD and Depression. I am off all my medications, and just recently started therapy/CBT/whatever. Now, I am not against this, nor do I think it is doing me more *harm*. But it just gets me thinking about how pitiful my life is. For example our last session we were talking about my life, and establishing a base line. And something came up about my life that struck me as wow. I was telling her how I tend to keep to myself and how I the only people I have ever trusted, or related to were my girlfriend and my dog. Her response to this was that it sounded like a lonely life, and she asked me if I would even know what it felt to be lonely as I have lived this way for a long time. I told her that I don't think I would be able to feel that way, as I have trouble feeling any emotions at all, for example empathy, happiness, etc. So it got me thinking that I am fucking broken, and I am not human. It is everyone else and me. It just makes a vicious cycle of getting myself lower and lower. And it sucks. I think I will end it soon, because I have spent the day having obsessive thoughts/fantasies about killing myself, and I can't get my mind off it. The only compulsion I have to lower the anxiety is cutting myself, or actually killing myself. And killing myself doesn't sound too bad. No-one would miss me, I mean my parents are alive and all that shit. But I really just see living with them as a chore. I just see them as there, dealing with them everyday is an annoyance. So I mainly spend my days in my room. Wake up, go to school, to my room. Wake Up, go to work, to my room. Not much variation, and not many people would miss me. Oh well, I have my method and I have the shit needed to carry it out. Why am I posting here though... Not sure to be honest, I guess a cry for help. Who knows. Oh well.