Wanting to run away

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by mpk, Apr 28, 2016.

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  1. mpk

    mpk Well-Known Member

    For the last week I have been having a recurring thought of just packing a bag and running away from my life. It has evolved into the thought of just going somewhere and drinking myself to the end.
    I don't know if I can shake the feeling, my wife does not seem to care about my dealing with the depression.
    I know the medication takes time to work, it has only been 3 weeks since starting.
    I figure if I run away and tell no one it will be easier.
     
  2. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    I'm sorry you have to feel this way.

    I hope you can hang in there while waiting for the meds to settle, but you should talk to your doctor if you feel it's taking too long.


    I know you were just on a 'forced' roadtrip, but would it help you to take a trip on your own, experience some things and clear your head?
     
  3. mpk

    mpk Well-Known Member

    Tank you phantomlady. I'm still on the road trip. It just has been stressful the last few weeks with no end in sight.
     
  4. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support Forum Pro SF Supporter

    Hi Mpk, I can't imagine how difficult this must be for you. Feeling the way you do and not having the support of your wife. I'm glad that you're at least able to get on the site. Hopefully it's not too much longer that you're away from home, a road trip at this time is just an extra stressor you don't need. Take care.
    Brian
     
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi there, I am sorry you are going through this. Are you in therapy? I am in DBT therapy and it is helping me cope, I have become a lot more stable since I started. Is therapy an option for you? Good luck on your medications buddy and try to enjoy the road trip but please, no do not run away. We care about you here, that I can assure you of. Safe travelling my friend x
     
  6. mpk

    mpk Well-Known Member

    Thank you both. I'm not in therapy yet. I have to see the VA dr in June. I'm just not sure about any of it. I don't think it will get better for sometime yet have to keep trying.
     
  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Yes, keep trying and keep it up. Good luck with your doctors appointment, could you get one any sooner? Maybe they can give you a cancellation?
     
  8. mpk

    mpk Well-Known Member

    Thanks yet with the VA you are lucky to get an appointment in a reasonable amount of time.
     
  9. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    That's good at least. See, there are positives. You might look back on this 5 years from now and think how did I get to such a low point I considered suicide?? I sure hope it works out that way for you anyway. You deserve only the best and we are always here for you my friend.
     
  10. mpk

    mpk Well-Known Member

    Thank you. It has been a hard journey
     
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  11. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support Forum Pro SF Supporter

    Glad to hear you got an appointment with the VA, hopefully they move on it and get you the therapy you need my friend.
    When are you headed back home?
     
  12. mpk

    mpk Well-Known Member

    Brian I believe we will be here for a couple more weeks. I don't know if VA will give me therapy yet will see.
    Thank you always
     
  13. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support Forum Pro SF Supporter

    Awe no, I thought they would get you some sort of therapy, I'm hoping they do. I don't know if you feel better on the trip or back home. I usually prefer to be home when I'm depressed. But maybe it's giving you a chance to get away by yourself. Again I'm sorry your wife isn't giving you support. Take care of yourself and hang in there. Sending positive thoughts and prayer for peace and healing.
     
  14. mpk

    mpk Well-Known Member

    Thank you Brian. I really don't feel any different being away or at home. The feelings are the same. I don't know why my wife appears to not be concerned with what is going on which causes me more anxiety as I feel alone in dealing with the situation.
     
    Brian777 likes this.
  15. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support Forum Pro SF Supporter

    I don't understand it either Mpk, doesn't make any sense and I'm sure it hurts that someone you've been with for many years appears unconcerned with your health. I know it's not the same, but we care on here, I care, you sound like a good person and I'm sure we would be friends if we met. Anyway take care of yourself and check in when you can.
    Brian
     
  16. mpk

    mpk Well-Known Member

    Thanks Brian. It really is a tough road and I'm not sure how much more I can take.
     
  17. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support Forum Pro SF Supporter

    I know it is Mpk, I've been struggling myself all week, it's hard to deal with. Hope it all gets better for both of us.
     
  18. mpk

    mpk Well-Known Member

    I do too. I guess the placebo affect was just an illusion. Hope that you get better also.
     
    Brian777 likes this.
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