Wanting to slit my wrists

I have the urge to run a razor blade down my arm right now. I have so many emotions bottled up inside me right now. I'm irritable, angry, frustrated, depressed, antsy. Suicide is against my religious beliefs so I don't think I can go through with it. But the temptation is getting so strong to hurt myself. Maybe I just want to cause myself some kind of physical pain so it takes my mind off of the emotional pain I am feeling. The worst part is I don't know why I am feeling this way. My moods have been all over the place lately. I saw a counselor last week but he acted like I didn't need to be there or he couldn't help me. But he's my last option. I can't really explain why. That's just the impression I got from him. I can't even get myself to cry. I can feel the tears in the backs of my eyes but they just won't come out. I feel so numb. I can't take it anymore!!! :sad:

 

This kind of sounds stupid but whenever I get mad and annoyed which is alot because kids used to bully me alot and spit in my pencil case. I would just go home and think about beating the crap out of them this always helps me. Think of all the different ways you can beat or kill them but don't do it. This has helped me get out of trouble many times. Don't slit your wrists unless you think blood sliding down your arm looks nice. It's a waste of blood in fact why don't you go donate some blood you can help save a life and feel some pain

 

Thinking about beating people up wouldn't help. And I can't donate blood. My iron is too low and also the meds I'm on will probably prevent me from being a donor. I'm bipolar and am on meds for my swings. My doctor just adjusted one of my meds to help control the swings but I haven't been able to start the new dosage yet. The pharmacy is taking it's sweet time approving and ordering the new dosage. It's a special order med. I need to be on the new dosage now! I can't bring myself to tell my husband how I've been feeling lately...about wanting to take a razor blade to myself. He would freak and get too worried. And then insist I call someone.

 

Oh you're a girl:tongue: . I am so silly girls can think about beating people up lol we really should have female/male signs lol. Errr I am stuck I don't know what you can do....Can't you invite a friend over and like talk with them. Talking to people can make you forget things.

 

I'm sorry you're feeling so bad at the moment KTDBFKB I know what it's like trying to avoid SH...I'm sure there's a list of distractions posted in the Self Harm forum, you could try some of them I know people have found them helpful in the past.
There isn't really much else I can say. If one counsellor doesn't work for you, you should try seeing another - after all, different people can get better results with different people, if you get what I mean.
As for your husband...this may not be something you'd consider, but I think if you told him, while he might be worried about you, he might be able to support you better than we can - someone in real life who cares about you, not just a bunch of words on a screen.
Either way, I hope you are safe and that you get the support you need right now
Take care,

Lauren