To whom it may concern.
Good day, we at Soul-crushers Inc. are currently looking to hire a warehouse worker. The job will involve packing unnecessary shit into a cardboard box and placing it on a forklift. For this you will need to live up to the following:
1. Have at least 2 years of previous experience working in a warehouse. Putting a thing into a box is very difficult and it can take years of practice to completely master. It's not something you can just pick up overnight.
2. Have many close friends and a life-partner. We will ask you if you have these relationships during our tenth group interview on zoom (only around 50 applicants will have made it to this stage) to make sure that you're not some weirdo that has social problems. No friends? Say goodbye to working in our warehouse- yes we are actually like this!
3. Fulfill our flavor-of-the-month roulette of arbitrary characteristics so that our workplace has enough superficial differences between the people that pack garbage into boxes.
4. Make sure that you don't have any gaps in your resume, because some of the other 500 applicants don't.
Just make sure to be the top person out of five hundred, in short. If that's too hard, then you can't work and neither shall you eat!!!
Good day, we at Soul-crushers Inc. are currently looking to hire a warehouse worker. The job will involve packing unnecessary shit into a cardboard box and placing it on a forklift. For this you will need to live up to the following:
1. Have at least 2 years of previous experience working in a warehouse. Putting a thing into a box is very difficult and it can take years of practice to completely master. It's not something you can just pick up overnight.
2. Have many close friends and a life-partner. We will ask you if you have these relationships during our tenth group interview on zoom (only around 50 applicants will have made it to this stage) to make sure that you're not some weirdo that has social problems. No friends? Say goodbye to working in our warehouse- yes we are actually like this!
3. Fulfill our flavor-of-the-month roulette of arbitrary characteristics so that our workplace has enough superficial differences between the people that pack garbage into boxes.
4. Make sure that you don't have any gaps in your resume, because some of the other 500 applicants don't.
Just make sure to be the top person out of five hundred, in short. If that's too hard, then you can't work and neither shall you eat!!!