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Warning: TL;DR

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by Things, Aug 10, 2009.

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  1. Things

    Things Well-Known Member

    I’ve been having suicidal thoughts lately. I am 16 years old and I first begun having these thoughts at 11 (but due to the medication I was taking, I didn’t have those thoughts again until recently). A large part of my new-found depression is that my mom is sick. Something is wrong with her stomach, the pain makes her heart rate go up, so her heart is always beating too fast. The doctors can never figure out what’s wrong, most don’t give a shit and dismiss us completely, as if we’re making it up.

    It has been like this for over a year, and we’re no closer to getting her help. We really can’t do the things we used to enjoy, and we’re having money troubles because she can’t work. I feel like it’s never going to change, and I can’t live like this. It’s becoming harder and harder to cope.

    That’s not the end of it either. I feel like I have no talent, no use. Nothing new or good to bring to the world. So I think “if I can’t make a difference, why live”? I have a lot of perfection problems, if I’m not the best, I feel worthless.

    I’ve been losing my faith in humanity too. All the horrible shit I hear people do, it’s literally driving me insane. I don’t trust people enough to walk around outside. I keep thinking someone is going to jump out and kidnap me or something. I worry about getting involved in a romantic relationship because I hear so much about husbands killing their wives and vice versa. I’m always scared.

    I need to tell someone, but I just don’t know how or who. I’m not comfortable using the phone or a stranger’s email address, so contacting suicide help sites and phone lines it out of the question. Telling my mom won’t change anything, we can’t get therapy, all it would do is make her worry. I’m just stuck.

    I feel slightly better typing out at least. That’s not even all of it, but I don’t want to type anymore. I'm hoping that talking here might help some.

    So, uh...nice to meet you all.
  2. Hazel

    Hazel SF & Antiquitie's Friend Staff Alumni

    Hello and welcome to Sf, I'm glad that you have found us and that you feel it helped to type about the things that are going on in your life.
    It is so much much better to be able to talk about worries and feelings than to bottle them up!
    When you feel ready you can tell us more....
    I hope you find the help and support you need here at Sf.

  3. __Rawr.Tigga

    __Rawr.Tigga Well-Known Member

    Welcome to the site Things :hug:

    There are alot of people here to talk to, here to do what they can to help you. Talk to us when it gets hard hun :)

    Sorry things are bad for you at the moment. Your worries about your mum sound similar to those my friend had once, and her health issues sound similar to her mum's. I hope things can get sorted for you hun.

    If you want to talk more PM me :hug:
  4. Things

    Things Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the welcome, you guys. :) I was starting to get really nervous about the info dumping there....
  5. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to the site Things. Feel free to tell us what is on your mind. Sometimes just getting it out in the open helps. I am glad you found us. :hug:
  6. ~Claire

    ~Claire Well-Known Member

    Welcome to SF.

    :hug: xx
  7. Remedy

    Remedy Chat & Forum Buddy

    Welcome to SF Things! :)
    I'm sure you'll find the support you need here. :hug:
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Welcome to SF. :welcome:
  9. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    Welcome to sf :)
  10. Things

    Things Well-Known Member

    Thanks for all the welcomes. :) I'm having a mucb better day today. I'm not sufre if I'm going to very active here though.
  11. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Glad to hear you are feeling better today. If you aren't active much, it's okay. Anytime you want us to listen, we are here. Take care and stay safe. :hug:
  12. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Welcome to the forums Thing!! If it helps sit back and read what others are saying.. Maybe that will help you feel safer to open up.. No one here will harm you..Give it some thought and I hope to see you around..
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