warning: Triggering

Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by painfulbliss, Feb 24, 2007.

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  1. painfulbliss

    painfulbliss Well-Known Member

    I don't know what this pain is that i feel inside,
    I want it to just go away.
    I try to pretend I'm happy,
    but i know that my smile is a lie.
    Every night i slit my wrists more and more,
    hoping that it would get rid of my emotional pain,
    but its still there.
    Suicide sounds like the only option,
    killing myself will get rid of all my pain.
    so here i go...
    And as I'm lieing on the floor trying to gasp for my last breath,
    I realize my pain will be over soon,
    And for that couple seconds i was the happiest i could've been in a while.

    Dull - thats what i am
    after the buzz is gone
    and im myself again

    weak - dropping to my knees
    wishing I could die
    but I cannot even cry

    Pain - that's all i feel
    Emotion hurts the worst
    In this life I've rehersed

    Fake - only way to get by
    Only way to have a smile
    without starting to cry

    Broken - not knowing who I am
    I want things my way
    but what's that anyway?

    Torn - I try yet I do not care
    Why should I try so hard
    if i might not be here?

    Outcast - talking to my thoughts
    Wishing I could be...
    a person no one can see...

    Failed - at life at everything
    I'm going to dive deep into me
    with the blade that'll set me free...

    Maybe you think its stupid
    Maybe you think I'm mad
    But that is what I do
    When I get really sad
    Feels like I'm drowning in my tears
    get lost in all the pain
    Thats when I feel I'm about to explode
    And reach for the razor blade
    It doesn't hurt - i like the steel
    It makes me feel alive and real
    I press the blade into my skin
    I feel the metal wander in
    Life can turn you upside down
    Grab your legs - throw you around
    Mess you up - make you cry
    Make you feel the need to die
    As soon as blood starts flowing
    I know Ill be alright
    The scars I'm never showing
    They are my biggest secret that i hide.

    Sick and tired of life,
    I'm just wanting to die,
    Waiting for my happiness,
    Up in heaven through the sky
    So many thing go wrong,
    Unhappiness controls me,
    I let it all hide,
    Inside my personality
    Do you see this smile,
    I'm telling you it's fake,
    Really I'm crying inside,
    By this heart ache
    Do you see this laugh,
    It's not what I feel inside,
    Cause when my heart got broke,
    All of my heart died
    I've been hurt too much,
    I don't care whats in store,
    God just let me die,
    I can't handle it anymore

    And sometimes it seems worth it.
    But other times its not.
    You gotten to my head.
    And managed to break my thoughts.
    It's pathetic isn't it?
    That I don't even know what I want.
    Maybe it's just a dream.
    Not real at all.
    Maybe you were sent to me,
    to put me through a test.
    The kind where one ending is life,
    and the other happens to be death.
    Life, is the ending I want to choose,
    But the death one is so near.
    It's being abandoned that I've conquered,
    But being alone is my fear.
    In this world of lies,
    Theres only one thing that has proven true.
    And Sadly that seems to be,
    I can't be mad at you.
    After everything you've done,
    After all you put me through,
    No matter what happens,
    I still can't hurt you.
    It doesn't feel right,
    Not when i try.
    I just couldn't take it,
    If I made you cry.
    So this is the end,
    And I'm done with life,
    No more beginnings and no more ends,
    Just one last slice.
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