Was close last night

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Nicki, Dec 26, 2008.

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  1. Nicki

    Nicki Active Member

    I have been finding it harder day by day at the moment...Cant stop thinking about my boyfriend and the struggle with money and kids....I have been together with my boyfriend for almost two years now...But as all relationship we have our ups and downs...Didnt help that before me and my boyfriend got together he went to thailand to pay to sleep with a bar girl....I know that i'm silly but i cant stop thinking about it,,,,Thinking he doesnt like my fat body (i'm 12/14) i know that its not fat but its not thin....He says he loves me some much...

    But last night i got so close to taking all my sleeping tablets,, silly i know,,,but my boyfriend stopped me from doing it....
  2. John_1963

    John_1963 Member

    I was on the suicide hotline the other day and the lady really drove home a point about who I would be hurting. After thinking about it i decided not to kill myself since i love those around me.

    But the pain remains and i am trying to get through it one minute at a time.

    You have little kids so you really gotta think about them. and as a woman with kids you can always go on welfare unlike me, a single man. It's not a happy thought but you have a safety net.

    Money is an issue for a lot of people right now. you are not alone.

    And your boyfriend sleeping with a hooker is bad but it does not necessarily mean he does not love you. Guys are pigs. I know, I am one. And while I have never cheated the thought crosses my mind NOT because I do not love my girlfriend. I do. It's just that guys are wired differently. I know this is little help but it's the truth.

    Be careful about the pills, too. After my little suicidal episode I learned that they can leave you brain damaged or messed up in other ways. Some things may be worse than death.

    Think about leaving the boyfriend. At least for a time. He may wise up and start appreciating you.
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi Nicki,

    When you feel like ending it all, think of your kids. They need you, they would suffer more than you are now if you went through with it.
    Truth is, many guys go off with prostitutes. It's about sex not love. He loves you,that's why he is with you.Please throw away the sleeping tablets and talk to your boyfriend about how you are feeling :hug:

    Thinking of you,Lynn.
  4. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Nicki,
    Not all guys are pigs. You will find that there are genuine ppl who happen to be male. It sounds to me like your boyfriend does care or he would have walked once you told him what is happening in your life.
    Sit down and talk to him and let him know he hurt you when he went to thailand. We aren't mind readers. I agree that men are wired differently than women. Other than that one time has he cheated on you since? You can't hold that against him because you two weren't even togather when he did that.
    Your girls need there mom. You are in pain and probably aren't thinking to straight. You don't want them to grow up knowing there mom commited suicide. That will stick with them for the rest of there lives. Please don't harm yourself. Seek professional help. You can't fight depression alone. Maybe even have your boyfriend sit with you every now and then during your sessions so he is more aware of what he can do to help you. Take care!!~Joseph~
  5. Rosenrot

    Rosenrot Forum Buddy

    It sounds to me like he does care about you... and he did that before you got togheter, right? It didn't bother you when you guys first got togheter, why now 2 years later? Has he shown he is faithful towards you?

    It's a good thing he stopped you.
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