Was I raped or am I crazy like he says?

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by mb75, Oct 6, 2007.

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  1. mb75

    mb75 Well-Known Member

    Two Sundays ago my daughter's father and I were having an argument at my home... in the middle of the argument he got up in his fit of anger and tried to take my pants off, I was crying and screaming at him to stop but he wouldn't (i'm, 5 feet 3", he is 6 feet and over 240 pounds), he wouldn't listen to me while I kept on telling him to stop till he eventually got managed to push me on the bed and forced himself on me.... all the time I was crying and trying to push him off and asking him to stop and saying no, but he didn't stop till he was finished and then left..... he came back a couple of hours later to apologise and said that it was disgusting of him to do what he did and asked for forgiveness... I refused...
    Two days later he came to tell me that it was not rape and that if I was not molested as a child I would not have thought of it as rape but as angry sex or something (I was molested/raped by my grandfather as a child and later on by an uncle as a teenager)....... anyway, now he keeps saying that I'm crazy and that he didn't rape me and that I only think of it that way because of my past....
    I cry everyday, I feel awful, I hate myself, I blame myself and think that maybe if I had not argued with him and left him alone this would not have happened..... he calls me crazy everyday, so now it has me wondering.... was it rape or was it not?
  2. Blackness

    Blackness Guest

    What kind of animal would do that to someone :mad:
    fucking hell
  3. Luna_Lovegood

    Luna_Lovegood Member

    The definition if rape is that one person is not conceting to the sex; and you were not conceting so yeah, it was rape.

    He's the crazy one.
  4. rocknrollsuicide

    rocknrollsuicide Well-Known Member

    Ooh...how easy it is for a rapist to say that it was not rape, isn't it?
    If that was not rape he should ask himself what it is.
    Don't bother ask him: his mind is too twisted, evil and perverted to understand.
    Rather be bothered about pressing charges against him.

    You are not the crazy one here mb75, it is not your fault because what he did to you was for him the last resort to use his power against you.
    Civilized people use civilized words for arguing.
    Those who cannot come up with words, what do they use? Phisycal violence.
    It's easier for them to punch, beat the crap out of someone or raping than come up with words on a debate, isn't it?

    He's a brutal ignorant scumbag who should rot in hell for what he did to you, twisting the reality by making you feel guilty in light of your previous horrible experiences.
    Failing the rotting in hell, I wish him to rot in a cell shared with pedophiles for the rest of his useless life.

    Your daughter is not safe with this retarded, disgusting arsehole.
    You need to get help by going through the counselling route and start a legal procedure against him.

    He's a sick deranged individual, dangerous to yourself, your loved ones and society. He must be put away for good.

    Remember that it is not your fault, the arguing was an argument - nobody in their sane mind would rape a woman out of an argument. He's the crazy one!

    Have you talked to anyone about it?
    Does your daughter know?
    Is there anyone close to you who is helping you going through this?

    Please don't blame yourself, blame him because he's the one who harmed you very badly.

    Forget about his fake apologees - if he was really sorry first he wouldn't call you crazy out of what he did to you and second he would turn himself to the police facing the consequences of his own actions.

    He is a sick coward like all rapists. He won't admit it but deep down he's probably scared that you might take action against him and make justice out of the crime he committed against you. That's why he's distorting the reality of things, calling you crazy when he's the crazy one and hiding the truth behind cowardly words such as "anger sex"...

    Take immediate action for your well being, your daughter's safety and against this bastard.

    Feel free to PM me anytime if you want to.

    All the best,

  5. mb75

    mb75 Well-Known Member

  6. savetoniqht

    savetoniqht Well-Known Member

    If you even have to question it, it was rape. Although he may never agree, if you did not want it and you made it clear, it was rape. No guy is going to admit to the fact that he raped you.. that's what they do, they make you think that way. You're not crazy at all, he's a disgusting pig to put you through that.
  7. scared_child

    scared_child Account Closed

    It was rape, sweetie. No matter what he says.
  8. lost_child

    lost_child Well-Known Member

    If you never gave consent then its rape. In the 80's marital rape wasn't seen as rape..apprentely when u have se* with someone once your consenting for life, the same with marriage when u take those vows the law then said u was giving ur body to the man you married....Now however after much debate in the courts etc, Marital rape is seen as a crime, if you don't consent then its rape...if ur unable to consent its rape.

    He's the crazy one..ur better without him...

    Sorry, take care xxxx
  9. incombustible2000

    incombustible2000 Well-Known Member

    it was rape, but he is saying your crazy to make himself feel better, ease his consence if he admitted it was rape then he would have to deal with that and look at what kind of person would do that, and that is hard when you have done something wrong to admit to it, and you do not want people to think you are a bad person and so on, so addmitting is hard. Guys are different then girls, and I do not know what this guy is like, but maybe you can over come it, god knows, its hard to tell, but maybe you can go to marriage counseling, and work things out, you do have a child together, maybe you can make things better eventually. But what he said is wrong... very wrong, but guys are made different then women, they have a need for sex, and sometimes they do not use there mind.... they use there penis to think about what to do next... You tell him that it is not normal actions for him to do that, and if he wants a relationshiop to last that he cannot treat you like that cause you will not put up with it, and that sexs has to come from both sides, a decision between two people not just one, and for him not to forget that. Of course I do not know if he is normally abusive... or any more information about your relationship so its hard to help totally but anyway take care.
  10. whynotme?

    whynotme? Well-Known Member

    a few years ago, i was in a lesbian relationship and my ex girlfriend forced herself on me etc... i had a hard time convincing others that i was raped and i too was abused as a child (by my older sister) so i had that argument thrown at me as well. I never did anything about what she had done to me because i thought no-one would listen or care because she didn't "penetrate" me. i have regretted that every day since.

    Please, believe in yourself and your ability to know what you did and did not ask for. this man deserves to be shown that what he did was wrong and you deserve to be shown that what you did wasn't.

    you are not crazy and nor am i

    if you cant pull through this for you, pull through it for all the other women he may be capable of going on to hurt and do it for your two children.

    Please, stay strong, dont live with the regret i have.
  11. It was definitely rape... my grandpa touched me too until he died when i was 9. I am 14 now. And life is so hard because i always wish i had said something.. :sad:
  12. ((((((((((((((Mb75))))))))))))))))))))
    You are not crazy sweetheart.
    I was NOT molested as a child... and I KNOW it was rape.
    He did it against your will...that's rape. simple. and it wasn't your fault.
    you have the right to press rape charges against him.
    Here for you,
    against the current
  13. Nightfall

    Nightfall Member

    of course it was rape.
    i guess he says you are crazy because he´s scared you go to the police.
    he ´s trying to manipulate you, because he knows, that people who have been abused in childhood are easily to unsettle.
  14. Melmoth the Wanderer

    Melmoth the Wanderer Well-Known Member

    Unfortunately, the police often aren't as helpful in this situation as they could be. I can understand your unwillingness to confide in them.

    However, you should still talk to someone with experience who can give you some options and advice. If you're in the USA, you can go on www.RAINN.org and find a rape crisis center or you can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline (1-800-656-HOPE (4673)). If you're in Europe or England, you can go to www.rapecrisis.org and get someone that way.

    Even if you never make a police report, talk to someone. :hug:
  15. PontyCruizer

    PontyCruizer Well-Known Member

    a lot of rapists get away with because they know the victim,

    i feel that if they know the victim, its easier for them to get done (theres no search for random men via DNA and newpaper articles or police knockin on doors askin neighbours if they seen anything - its pretty straight forward)

    BUT its because the victims dont report it - thats their choice, they may not want their kids etc to know whats happened - but they will feel a lot worse if the rapist does it to someone else - which if they know they done it once and didnt get reported, they might think they wont the next time -
  16. Reki

    Reki Well-Known Member

    Call the local P.D., tell them the story and let them decide if it was rape or not. Telling people they're crazy won't save him when he drops the soap.
  17. Will

    Will Staff Alumni

    I'd say report him, you need to tell someone. It was rape, anytime it's against your will. This might strike you odd, but do you still have the clothes you were wearing when it happened? Most rapes are encouraged to be reported immediately so there can be Rape Kits performed (and they can swab for DNA) which will lock him in right away, or they can sometimes pick DNA off of furniture or clothing.

    :hug: I'm terribly sorry you had to go through that. Be assured everyone here cares about you, and we're glad you're okay.
  18. pit

    pit Well-Known Member

    I hope you kicked him in the balls.
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