Was it my fault I was sexually assaulted? I feel as though it is. When someone tells me they were my heart drops but knowing I was makes me feel vulnerable. It's hindered me in life. People wonder why I'm crazy, why I'm paranoid. Well here is part of it. As a kid my assailant knew I wouldn't say get off me. I was in kindergarten for god sake. He didn't care. I'm sick of the life I live. I don't communicate with others. It's so damn hard to, in a sense. The assault didn't leave me like this it's knowing I'll never be quite the same after it. I've spoken to many people about therapy and I don't want it. I don't need it. I'm not breaking down, at this point I like to think I'm building up, my defenses of not being assaulted again but of being hurt.