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Was this group the last group anyone ever thought they would belong to?

#1
Hi ... please everyone, do not take this as an insult in any way, shape or form, but was this the last group anyone ever saw themselves a part of? I am almost 63, had a relatively ‘normal’ life until I experienced trauma 3 years ago which resurrected, in a very discreet way, some old childhood wounds that I thought were long since buried. If someone told me that I would be in the position that I am in now, clinging to a life raft every day, I would have told them they were nuts. From the outside I have it all....family, friends, money, etc... I would give it all up for a healthy mind, a normal sleep pattern, a love of myself, etc. I had all those things and they are now gone...not sure they will ever return.
Please know that I am very thankful for this group as you are all keeping me afloat. I would just like to know if anyone else is in the same boat clinging to the same life raft...and who is as shocked as I am that I am here.
Thank you.
 
#2
Hi hun,
I just happened to wonder on your post after searching the internet for some help myself. Of course I don’t know to what extent you are feeling, but I can assure you my thoughts are similar. I have been clean for 7years, and until recently, everything went ok. Now I too am in utter despair. As you said, I don’t think I could’ve imagined myself here seven years ago when I first attempted at 12. On the same token though, isn’t that a great thing? Despite my endless abyss so long ago, I’m here now. Even though things seem to be slipping back into that darkness, I have made it. Maybe this is a sign for both of us that, we have conquered things prior to now that have also made us feel this way. Somehow, some way, we can do the same again. My thoughts and love are with you hun.
-J
 

BarryW

SF Supporter
#3
If you are asking whether I am surprised that I am in this group. No, not at all. It's been a long time coming. I probably should have joined years sooner. I'm not active lately compared to the first couple years I was here, but it's good to know I can pop back in at any time.

Life is a series of surprises, and I hope you can one day no longer be shocked and instead just full of appreciation for the support of the group and gladness that you found it.
 

Sunspots

Safety & Support
SF Supporter
#7
I first considered suicide when I was around 8 or 9 and over 40 years later it's still there. Like you, I led a good life, family, friends, no money worries etc but that did nothing to quell those thoughts and memories in my head. There are two reasons I'm surprised to be here - I never thought I'd be able to talk about my feelings and I always thought I'd be dead by now.
 

Champagne

✯✯ Heart of an angel ✯✯
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#8
I never thought I'd be able to talk about my feelings and I always thought I'd be dead by now.
I'm so happy you are here with us and being able to open up when you need to must make a huge difference, you are amazing.
Thank you for being you. ✨
 

MosesY

Functioning Alcoholic
#9
I found this group when I was searching for ways to commit suicide, what was the best way, etc. I have been suicidal off and on since the age of 16 and am now 53. I have never actually attempted suicide. If I "attempted" I would be dead. I would make sure of that. I have been hospitalized twice. When I found this site it was like I found my people. The only surprise is that there is such a group of loving caring people.
 

MisterBGone

Well-Known Member
#10
I think that that is a very good explanation and reason as to why this is such an incredibly crippling & debilitating disease. Because it doesn’t give a care who you are, what you’ve done, etc etc. now, I am perhaps the exact opposite of you “on paper!” (Thread starter): ;^) . . . But I’d tried to go out, “in a blaze of glory,” like a dozen years or so ago... & for a long, long time afterwards; I thought, had it worked, or gone as planned. There’s so much death, and destruction & damage to interpersonal’s (relationship-wise) that could’ve been prevented. I think that there’s very few positives that could’ve been ultimately drawn from my survival, beyond the obvious when considering one’s family. Besides that - & in a vacuum (that is, examining it for what it’s worth: and only “selfish-ly,” Me!) I cannot say I still to this day wish I wouldn’t have had things go differently. But? What is one to do —when I guess I’m still here to suffer more! ;) honestly & sincerely... for a long time, I wasn’t so sure I hadn’t died, and gone to hell - & that this is what it now looked like. Suddenly everybody or everyone you ever knew in life that seemed to love you, now suddenly hates your guts (or) / despises you. But, I suppose that is what I do, or did best. And it would be argued which of those is more the truth. If not both at the same time. : )
 

PrincessPure

Well-Known Member
#11
It's just a forum like all the forums that I am casually active in. I don't dig too deep into it. Except that here is way more peaceful and pretty much no trolling, which is great.
 

Gonz

sick and tired of being sick and tired
#13
Huh. I've been dealing with being fucked up for basically my whole life. So no, not shocked to find myself in a place like this. More relieved to have finally found one.
 

HappyKitty

•✮• SF's pet kitty •✮•
#14
nah I'm not shocked and this isnt the only group I'm in. I hate to brag but I have two mental health support groups offline, best friends with the crisis line and part of suicide support group offline - all offline. i don't depend on one. My suicide ideations runs everyday so i need lots of emotional support as much as possible cause my family sucks balls and family isnt the reason for the triggers, theres many vectors and it just is what it is.

oh yea, lifes not all sunshines and rainbows yano, just sayin.
 

StrangeRanger

Well-Known Member
#15
Honestly??? Yes. I've been dealing with my mental strife for awhile now but I never thought I'd have to seek a group like this... I've always been told theres people here for me & I should be able to reach out for support irl but Ive had to resort to this forum. Not that it's bad being here, I sincerely appreciate the existence if this site, it's nice knowing I'm not alone evidently it kills me theres such a lack of empathy in my daily life. Id see it as another form of social media but I really really dont, which isn't bad due to how toxic the internet can be. It's nice to see people truly expressing how they've felt, I dont see that really anywhere else. I'm so sorry you've had to go through this stuff.. life has proven to be unpredictable sometimes.... Please know you're never ever alone here.
 

memyselfand1

University Student
#16
The internet is the only place I feel normal and here if the place I can loosen up a bit and remove that mask if I have to. I don’t feel judged on here. I couldn’t mention a single thing about how I really feel on Facebook at times as full of family, friends and people I know so I keep it fake or just put up pictures of cats, dogs, horses etc.
 

Dark111

SF Supporter
#17
I'm reminded of that old Groucho Marx gem: "I refuse to join any club that would have someone like me as a member."

I've never been a part of any group, I prefer individuals. But once in a while, you meet some cool folks in these groups and it's always pleasantly surprising. It sucks how things have changed, Hatingmyselfdaily. Such are the twists and turns of life, as I'm sure you well know, but good that you've found a home here. I like that you're both humble & sincerely grateful about it too. More luck to you.
 

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