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Was told to post..so..

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Ok, so I'm not thinking straight, or doing anything straight to be honest. I've been told to post..and accept help so first let's see if i even post this..i don't know about the rest. I'm dead set against this but I know there's a part of me that knows I have to try just for the sake of a couple of people..problem is I knew that yesterday, I knew i had to not give up then still found myself walking to the woods..I guess I had a realisation..why the hell was i trying to save myself for the sake of these few people it would affect, when actually it would help them if i wasnt here. All I do is make things worse. I'm just..useless. Obviously this isnt the only reason but I'm still not wanting to post the reasons behind why i want/need to take my life.

Anyway, unfortunately having run out of a certain thing, I was forced to change method at the last minute..not thinking it through meant it didnt work. Never mind, that can be fixed with a trip to the shop today. Anyway, i honestly dont know why I'm writing this except that I was asked to, and i guess i'm trying to make up for throwing everyones help back in their faces..i dont mean to do it, it just happens.

Oh well, so now I feel like shit, shouldnt be here anyway, panicking every so often, but now I'm going to get f*cked. And hopefully forget the fact that I'm still alive. And later, let's see...
You know what makes this more fun..that i cant hold the fucking glass without shaking. Stupid fucking arm..anyway ignore me. There really is no point anymore.
you know what else is shit..sobering up when i have nowt else to drink..and the shop isnt even open. and now i get to face reality and the fact that im still here.f*cking great.
Agrees with the other guy.
Glad you posted, thats a start.
But to help you we need more details.
Sorry, I know you dont really want to.
Blue take care, keep hoping and stay here
Know its really hard for you :hug:
But if you can go through this,
you can go through everything
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