Bout to go through the horrible washout phase before starting on yet another drug which is supposedly going to help me want to live. Wondering what the point is when I am having to do this every few months. Missing one day makes me sick as anything and feel like dying (well actually i feel like that most days without missing my meds). So I can only imagine what I am going to feel like in three days time. Surely curling up into a cocoon would be easier. I don't want to do this. Please just let me die. If this is life... I don't really want it. People can say what they like.. the usual things you get... there are lots of people worse off than u etc etc... How would they know. They aren't inside my head. They don't know the pain I fight or the numbness I otherwise feel just to leave my bed each day. I am tired of the fight to live.