wasn't there

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by total eclipse, Jun 18, 2009.

  1. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Sorry i wasn't there for you bro wish i would have been maybe you still be here I know your pain now and i just want to say sorry somehow i missed you forgive me okay bye
     
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    :hug: I'm sorry for your loss x
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    God i hate me so much for not getting him for ignoring him god whathave i done i just hate me so much please god why i don't get it this family suffered enough why why didn't you help why Enough mary he is gone there is nothing anbody can do just concentrate on your daughter now okay sorry just thinking out loud mind won't shut down tonight
     
  4. Shadowlands

    Shadowlands Official SF Hugger Staff Alumni

    :hug: you. Don't hate yourself.
     
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    finding it hard these days so hard I know he has found peace but god he didn't need to do this i would have gone and got him why the hell did he do this ffffffffff he knew i had so much with my daughter twin why did he have to add to this ffff pain i am so drained god yet have to now give her away to i just don't want this to go on Its not fair he got to leave its not fair.
     
  6. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    HOw does one forgive themselves how when you know he would still be here you know if you only reach out to him how can i move pass this. Please i need him back he was so gentle never hurt anyone but himself. I need him back why didn't i see why didn't i go get him why god did i miss him why He should still be here with me i would have take care of him too.
     
  7. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    You can't be certain he would still be here Mary. When someone reaches that place, there is often nothing anyone can do. You can offer support and love, which I am sure he knew was there, but ultimately the decision lies in their hands. Do not blame yourself for anything. You are doing what you have to do, and that is surviving. :hug:
     
  8. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am surviving and helping the rest of my family to survive but i ignored him for some reason the connection was lost i didn't see it his pain I saw everyone elses pain but not him why. Im sorry i just can't seem to forgive myself for this one i neglected him when i knew all he wanted was to be loved but i ignored him god what the hell did i do fuck this should not have happened noway no how god he should still be here with me but now you see you can't be blind to peoples pain you can't because this is what happens. They feel so lost so dam alone they don't reach out they do this and it isn't right no one should feel this is right. Please how does one release the guilt i can't God i can't
     
  9. SunFlower

    SunFlower Member

    Mary,
    I'm sorry for the loss of your brother, it must be so difficult. However none of this is your fault and I have to agree with GentleLady as sometimes all the love and support in the world cannot change someones decision.

    You obviously cared very much for your brother and I admire the strength you have for helping your daughter. Please don't blame yourself, you do an amazing job looking after your family and helping people on here.

    It'll take time, but it will get easier.
    Be kind to yourself, even though it may be difficult.

    Take Care, SunFlower x
     
  10. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Thanks i try not to think abt things and i hope in time i will be able to forgive myself it just hurts so much now.