waste of space

i've set a date now for jan.20th. why then? because it's also the same day that my best and only friend killed herself two years ago. i thought i had made a new friend but i guess i was wrong. i'm working on a specific journal now and i'm calling it "my final chapter". i don't believe there will be any talking me out of this one. life is just becoming more and more painful and honestly i can't take it anymore.

there are a hundred things i need to take care of and the means to do none of them. i'm burnt out. i'm fried. i set the date above because it's after the holidays and seems like as good a time as any to do it. i promised myself i wouldn't do anything during the holidays otherwise i would probably just do it now.

now being as i suspect there is no way of talking me out of this i expect no response here. i just wanted to have a voice one last time because after this i will just remain silent. i know in all fairness and honesty no one wants to talk to me anyways. you all take care of yourselves and give life a chance. i know i certainly have.

 

By telling us your plan and the date, it seems to me that you don't really want to go thru with it. I don't want you to go thru with it. I don't want to live with the knowledge that I couldn't do anything to save you, and I don't want to live with the knowledge that your daughter will have to live with it the rest of her life...:sad: Please don't do anything irreversable. Please??:sad:

love,

least

 

I'm here. We should talk.

I can't really live anymore...I just don't want to live in this mundane repetition forever and MY EXPECTATIONS ARE TOO HIGH! But at the same time....it just hurts so much to think of the people I would leave behind.

But how on Earth am I supposed to live? I just can't. I can't do this. TRIED! But can't.

 

believe me i plan on going through with this not like that matters though or will matter to anyone.

 

Well i dont know you and I give a shit...

Dont go there unless you really need to matey.. non of you should..

 

Please do not feel that no one would care if you were to go. I know I would. I know your son and daughter would as well. There are also many people here at SF that would care. You are not "insignificant" in any way. You are loved and cared for. You do have a friend hun. More than one. Please do not give up. I am sorry you feel as you do. Please continue to fight. :hug:

 

Insig please don't do this and I mean don't yes I don't know you but that doesn't mean I don't care and know what position you're in.I surely don't want to see you going ahead with this not because I'd like to think of myself as some sought of hero or something.Please talk to me I think we can exchange some valuable knowledge.

 

We are goingto try to talk you out of it. it is a pro-life site. we cn all relate, life gives us a bad hand once in a while.

 

well i have begun my 'final chapter' and it's amazing what is coming forth so far. maybe this will be just what i need but then again maybe not. i'm not so sure if i'm gonna share it though until it's time. we'll see though.

i do realize btw this is a pro-life sight. i have cherished this fact sinse i began coming this was just a matter of venting. thanks again