waste of time

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by angelicgoddessofdeath, Mar 18, 2008.

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  1. angelicgoddessofdeath

    angelicgoddessofdeath Active Member

    honestly, sometimes i think that asking others for help is just a waste of time. no one really bothers with me so its like i shouldn't even care what happens to me,right?

    but i've taken a lot of thought lately, and honestly lately, i'm finding myself getting better but yet worse.

    right now, i'm trying to tell myself that i am not fat and that i need to eat more than a few items a day.

    also, i am always trying to tell myself that i am pretty. even iGod sez that i'm pretty LOL

    see? i laughed. that's for the better. for as for the worst.... i'm still lonely. i still exist in this world without any real purpose, but that's okay i guess. i mean, we are not all smart or quick at everything. just not everyone is meant to make and discover new inventions or that sort of thing. sometimes, really, the only impact we can make in our lives, is with the people around us.

    i know that its hard to believe that i'm important or useful or something like that, but if God won't let me die, then that must mean that i must have some use. i'm always being used by people so i guess that's the life i am meant to have right now. maybe later, i will have some other purpose in life?

    anyway, it doesn't matter what i think considering most people don't bother with me so i guess the best that i can do is post some crappy thread and hope that someone actually bothers.
     
  2. angelicgoddessofdeath

    angelicgoddessofdeath Active Member

    yep...i post.

    yep...people look.

    yep...no body bothers.

    wow. i am trying to be strong and even here on this community no one gives a f**k about me.

    you all are too busy asking how old i am to even care that there is more to a person than their d**m age.

    no wonder i am usually not found here. i had a friend but who know? maybe she finally successfully killed herself, i don't know.

    i am trying to over these feelings and i try my best to be strong but its obvious that i am not strong if i come to these sort of sites.

    i am practically begging someone to f***ing hold me in their arms, to talk to me, to let me cry on their shoulder, for someone to understand me.

    but no one understands me! no! no one does! you all just say that you do but in reality you along with everyone else does not understand s**t!

    someone f***ing pm me and try to comfort me! stop asking how old i am! stop asking where i got the picture for my avatar! stop telling me how to improve my d**n profile and get off of your a**es and help me already!

    i am here dieing on the inside! but its not like anyone cares anyway!!! *runs off crying*
     
  3. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Hey sweetie!! I do care and haven't given up on you. Been dealing with some personal things since the middle of Feb. and am so sorry if I havevn't been there for you!!!! All the things I told you before still hold true. And I'm so proud of you that you are holding your own right now. Please keep finding the strength to atleast stay were you are, your head above water and gently treading. It is much better than fighting the current to stay alive!!! Believe me, right now I know.
     
  4. angelicgoddessofdeath

    angelicgoddessofdeath Active Member

    thanks. i'm glad that someone cares...
     
  5. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    first of all, i don't see anyone asking how old you are... i dunno, your comments seem kinda random... i, for one, don't care about your age. if someone is pestering you can just report them to one of the mods...

    and, secondly, it usually takes more than a couple of hours for people to respond to a thread. i think your expectations for what a forum can provide are pretty unrealistic. i have threads here that take a day or two to get responses. people are in different timezones, at work, etc....

    it seems like you are setting youself up to be disappointed, kind of self-fulfilling prophecy, eh -- you post on a forum where you are guaranteed to not get a quick response, then you are disappointed by this very fact, and then you yell at everyone (guaranteed to not generate many responses)....

    catherine

    ps sorry for sounding so grumpy. a friend on another thread is determined to take that final step and i find myself so sad and distraught over this.... i guess i can't handle being yelled at despite always doing my best on SF.... c.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 18, 2008
  6. jasonthesavage

    jasonthesavage New Member

  7. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Jason everyone is a friend to each other here. Keep posting and you'll see that there are a lot of wonderful people here that care about you and want to help you out!!! Glad you found SF!!
     
  8. Xistence

    Xistence Well-Known Member

    hey, I just read your post and I can tell you that there are people that care. I know I'm not much of anything, but I care. If you ever need someone to talk to, my MSN is in my profile or you can email me.
     
  9. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    People do care about you angelic. Please talk to us about what is bothering you. We're here to help. :hug:
     
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