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Waste of time

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Ranxerox, Jan 2, 2010.

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  1. Ranxerox

    Ranxerox Well-Known Member

    Therapy was just a waste of time, pills cant give me a place to belong or make my life meaningful, they wont give me a reason to wake up in the morning. I dont know why i even bothered trying to get help, im still going to die alone and unloved, a pathetic failure in everyway. Well i guess its time to try again, ive got some sturdy rope and ive researched the technique in depth, and if that fails i have other means.
  2. Tam

    Tam Well-Known Member

    Why do you say therapy was a waste of time? Did something negative happen? How long have you been in therapy (if I remember rightly from one of your previous posts, you were feeling quite optimistic about seeing the psych).

    I hope you come back on before you sling your rope -talk a bit more.

    (By the way, I love your signature, that really resonates.)
  3. bubblin girl

    bubblin girl Well-Known Member

    therapy & pills dont give the reason to wake up,its just show you the right path to find that reason,its you who control & think what is the reason.please hold on and try to search by yourself of a reason.

    PS:I fall in love with your signature too...its soooooooooo beautiful Quote.im accually doing it.
  4. Ranxerox

    Ranxerox Well-Known Member

    Thank you for your post Tam - the therapy helped for a bit, finding out that i was ADHD helped me to understand why i struggled at college so much, but being alone this christmas and on new years just reminded me of how desperately lonely i am, and just seeing how everyone around me fits in and belongs somewhere, feels like something being jabbed into an open wound in my mind. No amount of therapy will make me belong, will make others want me around. Ive been trying to steer my life somewhere, just hoping to make it mean something, but its useless, and the constant failure and rejection is killing me, more than any rope or blade could.
  5. Tam

    Tam Well-Known Member

    You're right, therapy won't make others want you around, no amount of therapy (or pills or pep talks or positive thinking) is going to change other people (damn it!)

    What therapy ought to do, and the way out of your terrible feelings about yourself, is to get you to start feeling more ok about being you, just as you are. And the more ok about yourself you feel, magically other people feel more ok about you too. Does that make any sense? Kind of, changing how you view yourself, changes the world outside as well.

    I know that's of no comfort to you right now whatsoever, I'm just trying to be the little voice that says, hang in there, give the therapy (and the pills) a chance to work, give it all more time, one day it will be different, better. Got to have that hope.

    And yeah like Bubblin Girl says in her post, I too am doing what your signature says - if only someone would come along and knock these walls down, get through to me. Well maybe that can happen, but in the meantime, time to start dismantling the wall from the inside. What do you think?
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