Watch me die

Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by Allo.., Mar 2, 2007.

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  1. Allo..

    Allo.. Well-Known Member

    i want to do it
    no, i want you to do it for me.
    get a gun
    and hold it to my head
    end the pain i pretend i dont know
    drive me up that mountain
    and when i hesitate
    push me down
    watch me fall
    hear the thudd at the bottom
    watch be fall on sticks and trees
    see the branches through me
    watch me sink beneith my own blood
    watch me die, tom
    watch me die.
  2. PoetMan

    PoetMan Well-Known Member

    wow, that's depressing. I hope you found some release in it.

    As I've said before, I don't hold with poetry that doesn't rhyme. I was educated to do sonnets.
  3. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    I think the best poetry usually doesn't rhyme. But each to their own :smile:.

    I really liked it Ally, if "liked" is the right word :blink:. It's very powerful. Did writing it help?

  4. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    PoetMan, if you don't care for free verse, that's your opinion, but please don't voice it aloud here in your critique of anyone's poetry. Poetry comes from the soul and the writer of this poem is obviously in terrible distress. I like this poem, depressing as it is, cause it came from deep within her heart. That's all I need to find it a good poem.:smile:

    PS, Allo, I hope that writing down your feelings can keep you from acting on them. All the best to you,

    Sending you love and hope,:hug: :flowers:

  5. Allo..

    Allo.. Well-Known Member

    thanks guys.. and yeah, it did help. I think i was a little angry at the time and that was a part of a big long rant =]

    Thanks for reading.
  6. Hey PoetMan (and I use the term loosely…)

    Your comments (and poetry) are, so far, vapid and vacuous and I don’t find that you ‘roar’ at all, not in the least, but rather mewl. Please refrain from further attempting to belittle those who need to express themselves here in whatever form they find fit and/or comforting as a much needed release. You are an intellectual fop. That being said, your inability to relate in any practical way to humanity must be one of the reasons you decided to participate in a suicide forum. You’re out of sorts. Seek to find what you need if you can. Do NOT criticize what is already here...

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