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Watch people achieve, marry, die

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by EmptyLife, May 14, 2009.

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  1. EmptyLife

    EmptyLife Well-Known Member

    I just spend my life watching people have accomplishments, fall in love, have boyfriends/girlfriends, get married, have children, grandchildren, and die. That's all my life has been. Watching everyone else have a life. And I have tried, but I can't have a life. I don't know what's wrong.
  2. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    Hi Emptylife.
    Have you ever tried to seek out help, one on one or group therapy/meds/counselling. Something to help you get to the root of your problems?
  3. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hey I know how you feel. A lot of people here do.
    Do you want that kind of life.... wife kids etc. Or are you just saying you want any life? Just that you feel you don't have one?
    A lot of people who are married aren't happy. People may be out doing these things but it doesn't necessarily mean they're happy.
    I hope you can find A life whether it be the one that most people tend to move towards or something completely different! It's your life :hug:
  4. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Here's a big surprise.... life aint all it's cracked up to be. Yep accomplished many things, got married, had 5 children and sit here today having nothing to show for it at all. Just my loneliness and overhelming problems with finances, health and lack of respect or love. Now I really truly wished I had sat on the sidelines watching life cuz then maybe I would still want to participate in it. So all said and done watching life isnt all that bad. Sometimes it really beats having the life you THINK everyone else is having. Like the saying goes.. "everyone has their skeletons in the closet." I almost guarantee you that for every person you think has a wonderful life they are hiding atleast one deep despair or regret with their life. Be careful what you wish for hun.
  5. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    The grass is absolutely greener on the other side. Being in a relationship, marriage, or having commitments like kids is only nice if it's a nice set up. Many people are upset about their relationships and marriage. If you're alone it's easy to imagine that these things will make you happy. But in reality, they're just added stresses. If you're not comfortable with yourself, then more commitments will just make you more stressed out and depressed.

    Work on yourself, try to not compare yourself to others. If you don't love yourself other people can't love you. Because you won't let them. It's a problem with being depressed. But I totally feel for your loneliness, that's why I think it would be great for you to join a group activity that lets you hang out with people but without the strong commitment. Plus, the more stuff you do with other people, the more attractive a partner you'll be.

    Remember, people like getting in relationships with fun people. That's why it's hard for depressed people to have good relationships.
  6. depleted_soul

    depleted_soul Well-Known Member

    Hi EmptyLife. I understand what you're saying. I feel like I'm just sitting on the sidelines watching everyone else live their life and I'm just merely existing.

    I've tried to have a life but my depression keeps me so down and messed up I haven't been able to do much of anything, even with meds and therapy. It sucks but that's my reality. :dry:
  7. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I have had five deep relationships.. Married once and engaged a second time.. I was cheated on and lied to in each relationship..There excuse was always the same.. That all I did was work all the time and then come home and watch TV with a couple of drinks to relax..O.K. I did work all the time because I wanted more out of life for us..My therapist says that I grew up and accepted resposibility and the women I was with never grew up..Now there is no way in hell I will let anyone inside of me again..I became an isolationist because I didn't want to be hurt again..I agree with Itmahan be carefull what you wish for..
  8. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    Some of us aren't cut out for married life. Quite a bit of responsibility there for the rest of your life. I could never get me head around that lifetime committment portion. Just wasn't for me. Not that I'm particularly happy right now, and not that i didn;t come close. I had some pretty close relationships and close calls.

    Who knows , might have workied out. NOT! I'm just not the marrying type. I don't particularly enjoy being alone. BUt I've got some friends, girls to see occasionally who also don;t want a relationsip.

    Most important, I've got a few contacts and freinds here who I love. They knwo who they are. I bug them quite a bit. Hint...Terry and Terri. Oh no, the cats out of the bag.

    Seriously, it's not for everybody and you can have a fulfilling life without marriage.
  9. warn81

    warn81 New Member

    MY life feels empty too, everyone around me has a boyfriend, their own place and a job...a life that's moving. I lost my job. I'm lonely and spend practically every day in my room. I'm trying to move into my own place. My life is like on pause. Bad enough my mother calls me useless and stopped speaking to me.
  10. warn81

    warn81 New Member

    That's a poor excuse those women gave you...no reason to cheat and lie.
  11. Multiple Man

    Multiple Man Well-Known Member

    Alot of people who are married are not always happy, but they have the capability to be. I can guarantee you everyone who is alone and lonely isnt happy.
  12. EmptyLife

    EmptyLife Well-Known Member

    I find these responses extraordinarily patronizing, callous and ignorant, and I'm sorry I ever posted the thread. Obviously no one has the sophistication to understand a simple post.
  13. sucidalgirl99

    sucidalgirl99 Well-Known Member

    I know how you feel. Feel me to PM me if you want to talk.
  14. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    ????? I reread them all. I think the members gave wonderful caring support and advice!!!! Now if there was one that said " get off your ass and do something about it" or "oh sweetness things will get better, they always do" then I could understand your response. But then agin I aint all that sewfisticated. I just try to reply from my own life experiences and from the heart.
  15. evilperson

    evilperson Well-Known Member

    I understand and sympathise. I, too, would love to have had my life like this: get married, watch your grandkids grow up etc. etc. But I'm lucky, I have a child. But I get what you're saying. It's something that you want, and some people have it and they just don't get it, or they don't want it like you do.

    I, too, feel like I am on the sidelines EmptyLife. You can PM if you want :).
  16. Tobes

    Tobes Well-Known Member

    You're a fool. I live alone and I'm happy. I may be suicidal, but I can still be happy. People are social creatures but there are still those that prefer their own company over the company of others. I'm one of those people, and I am at my happiest when I'm by myself.
  17. TheBLA

    TheBLA The biggest loser alive.

    I hope the same can happen to me. Lately, I have been very depressed imaging my future as I know it will very much likely be all alone, I will never have a girlfriend, a spouse, children, etc. And I feel because of lacking those things, I will have a very long, painful and miserable life. It could be because having those things is viewed as the norm and that I have been shown as normal by society, especially my Indian society.

    But then I don't even know if I want those things, maybe I won't be happy to have them. But I do have an extremely low opinion of myself, I am confident that nobody would want to marry me, have children with me, etc, that even if I wanted those things, I would never get them so I shouldn't even aspire to get them and just give up on those prospects.
  18. evilperson

    evilperson Well-Known Member

    You could donate sperm to a sperm bank or privately.......at least that way you'll know that you have children.....somewhere out in the world. Even though that probably doesn't help, it's an idea....
  19. pit

    pit Well-Known Member

    Nothing wrong with watching. Sometimes participating can get you killed.

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