Watching her, made my urges stronger

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by mixedemotions, Mar 20, 2009.

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  1. mixedemotions

    mixedemotions Forum Buddy

    So.. I have a friend that also suffers from depression and uses self harm as a coping methond...
    She wasnt to good today and I was sitting by her in the college cafe. I could tell what she was trying to do and it really hurt to see her do that to her self.

    She snapped up a nail file and was running the sharp edge along her skin, diggin the sharp point into her hand and wrist. I could see her leavings marks (not cuts as such but scratches/grazes) and all my urges that I have been tryin to fight my self come streaming back to my head.

    Now... I'm sat here really wanting to harm. I know it isnt her fault, but it doesnt help...

    I feel I need to help her, I have even told her about the site.... But i dont know if she signed up. Maybe if she did it would help her.

    I dont know.

    I just feel lost. I dont want her to have the scars I have, I dont want her to be in the same place of mind I have been in. Of course I know we are both different and our problems are very different.
    But after all.. Self harm is Self harm... no matter of the reasons why.

    It has really hurt me. I tried telling her to stop and she just got angry at me saying she couldnt. Now I'm so worried about her. I dont know what her mind is like right now.
  2. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    Perhaps you could talk to her and let her know you're worried about her and the self harm, explain to her you know, to a certain extent, how she is feeling (about the addiction of self harm, at least), and you're worried she is going to end up being reliant on it because it's not the best way to manage. Do you think you could convince her to see a college counsellor?

    Maybe you could show her this site... perhaps it slipped her mind or something. Maybe help her register or at least show her some of the threads in this forum. She could also post in the 'The Uncertainty Principle' if she doesn't feel like registering at the moment.

    As for your own urges, maybe try to distract yourself and do something to pass the time hopefully to put your mind off it, maybe talk to friends or Josh if he's about. I hope you manage to not give in to the urges.

    You sound like a good friend, shes lucky to have you.
  3. mixedemotions

    mixedemotions Forum Buddy

    Thanks for the reply I'm really grateful.
    We were suppose to meet up last night but she didnt come bcoz she said she wasnt feeling up to it. It has just made me worry even more. I wish I could help her.

    When I see her on Wednesday I'm gonna try chat to her again, but some times she just likes to keep to her self. She is her own worst critic. I really worry about her.

    I just hope she doesn't do any thing to drastic.

    To my own urges...well I'm coping at the moment, doing every thing i can to help myself busy! I have even been doing some ironin... god dam it that is not me.. but it helped a little. getting my stresses out on those creases lol

    I wanna hug her so much. Tell her she is safe and things will work and in the end.
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