Discussion in 'Welcome' started by Vandamar, Apr 5, 2012.

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  1. Vandamar

    Vandamar New Member

    I thought I should talk to somebody and I genrally find when you tell friends that you're contemplating suiside they tend to freak out. I've had depression most of my life so I'm kinda used to the up's and downs but it feels like a long while since I've had any ups. I also have chronic pain in my knee's which basicly means I need crutches to walk and I'm in pain everyday. I've attemted twice in the last 3 years and I really feel like I'm going to try again soon.
    The only thing that has kept me from going through with it is my daughter (she's 3 1/2), I shaire custerdy with her mother. I feel live such an asshole thinking about this when I have someone that needs me but I can't help but feel like this


    forgive my spelling I wrote this really quickly before I changed my mind (I'm dislexic so I ussaly spend half the time checking my spellings)
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 5, 2012
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Don't worry about your spelling hun I am glad to see you reaching out for support It is good to just be able to vent sometimes I do hope you start coming our of that downward spiral soon You daughter will always need you hun hugs
  3. Mr Stewart

    Mr Stewart Well-Known Member

    hello Vandamar and welcome to SF.
  4. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    hi Vandamar. Glad you are here. I, for one, would probably not notice spelling mistakes. And even if I did, I would not care. Its not the spelling that counts. Is the thoughts and feelings. Right?

    I think this is a really safe place to talk about what you are feeling. I know from my own experience, that I can think that "my kids" have other people in their lives who they need more. And I didnt raise, or give birth to them. all very true things. And yet, in all honesty, I know that I cannot project what they would feel if I killed myself ( just something I think about) I hope you can hang on for your little girl, as hard as it is. And as strong as the "down" is that you are in at the moment.

    I know how it feels to be suicidal. Oh I know all too well. People have found that this is a great website to come, sometimes manyyyyyy times a day, to keep themselves safe from themselves. Please keep coming here and writing no matter what. okay?
  5. Vandamar

    Vandamar New Member

    thanks, I think I realised recently that I was going to be in trouble if I didn't open up to somebody
  6. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    Hi Van - yes, this is truly a gr8 place to do what you're doing, please keep doing it. I wish there had been something like this for me 15 years ago - things would have made a lot more sense knowing the support was there. I have a granddaughter of 3+1/2...... as you know, they are very, very precious. I sometimes catch myself thinking (God forgive me) - what it would be like for her if her Dad was not around. My dad was taken from me when I was 4, and life in certain aspects was made infinitely more difficult because of it. Please, please, do all you can to stay in her life, I know it's hard when you feel at the end of your tether, but there is no given guarantee that offing is going to make things better.
    There are better ways to get the help you need.
    Blessings and strength,
  7. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    Hi Van, nice to have you here on SF. Sorry you're going through a rough time, but hopefully posting here and talking to us will help. Hope to hear more from you soon.
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